I'm not going to allow anything...to ruin my life.

I wish we lived in an ideal world. A perfect world. But we live in a world in which many unhappy and disgruntled people abound. Little wonder that we have conflict. Unhappy people don’t feel good about themselves, or about others. Don’t feel good about their lives. And that shows on the Alzheimer’s message boards. Care-givers of dementia patients often are in despair. And they feel sorry for themselves. And some of ‘em take it out on each other, and even on their patients. They become abusive. Little wonder that some small handful even take it out on fellow care-givers. Even on me. For expressing happiness and positive thinking. A few of ‘em see it as a put down, as condescension. As a lack of empathy. They want me to say, “Oh, I’m so sorry for you.” Instead, I tell ‘em how I coped. I tell ‘em I refuse to be unhappy. And in order for me to do that, I have to rationalize in a relatively upbeat and optimistic manner. I have to find ways to make the best of bad situations. I have to exude good vibes. And so that makes me a square peg in a domain of mostly round-hole people. I reflect relative happiness and joy in a realm of relative sadness. I tell ‘em, look around, folks, and find reason to be relatively happy. Find a way to get some consolation out of your miserable lives. Fall in love. And I mean unconditional love. I did that with Jeanne. Oh, I love that woman so very much. I never want to let her go. I still have her spirit. Yes, it was sad losing Jeanne to Alzheimer’s. I wish for it not to have happened. I wish Jeanne never died. I want her to be physically alive, forever and ever. But that’s not the way it is. And I accept that. So I focus on the almost 40 years I had with Jeanne on Earth. Good times. Memorable times. Loving times. And I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for life, and for the privilege and opportunity to love. To love another human being. And to love being me, alive and conscious. That’s my message. And do you know what? It actually offends some people. Some unhappy and disgruntled care-givers. I tell ‘em I’ve been blessed, and that I see so much goodness in life, despite Alzheimer’s. I see goodness springing from the bad. Even from my father’s suicide. I see how family members rebounded, and learned to appreciate life. We learned to live to the fullest. My mom and dad conceived me. They gave me the greatest gift of all – life. And I’m not going to allow anything -- Alzheimer’s or my dad’s suicide or even my own inevitable death -- to ruin my life. --Jim Broede