I know a woman whose brother committed suicide. And it’s left her devastated. Even years later. And I’ve told the woman that the whole system failed her brother. Everyone. And that includes society as a whole. It was obvious that her brother was hell bent on suicide. He tried it once, unsuccessfully. And he told his sister and others how he’d do it next time. He’d become more efficient. Hey, even I share in the blame. Because I haven't done more to make society more aware of the perils that lead someone to suicide. And that all too often there isn’t help out there. Not the kind of help that’s needed to deal with mental health problems. To deal with people bent on suicide. It makes me sad. But it also makes me pissed. Pissed because we’re all to blame. For lots of things. You, me, society as a whole. Because we don’t pursue the common good. And we stop short of adequate care. Not only for that woman’s brother. But for, oh, so many, many others.
It was a year or two ago that a fella went to a hospital in Minneapolis and said he was in dire need of help. That he felt like he was going nuts. But he was turned away. Because there were no spare beds. So the guy went home. Where he killed his mother and chopped her head off. Now, tell me, if the guy had checked into the hospital having a heart attack, he’d be treated, wouldn't he? And they’d find a bed. They’d admit him pronto. But when he’s got mental problems, he’s turned away. That’s the way it is, folks. That’s why I’m sad and downright pissed. And we’re all to blame…because we tolerate this stuff. –Jim Broede
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12 comments:
Mr. Broede, my brother had not attempted before and had not suggested he would become more efficient.
Unlike you I do not consider suicide UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE to be a good thing.
It is troubling enough to know you regard your father's suicide as a positive. Seeing your comments regarding my loss is disgusting.
This is not the Alzheimer's forum where you can trounce all over other people's feelings and push buttons for your own delight.
Here I can tell you what I think and what I think is...you need psychological help.
In closing I would like to say...screw you.
I find it so immature, shallow, and uncreative, that you should choose to rehash and even simply reprint what you have written in the Alzheimer's forum, even things that nearly got you banned. Yes, I suppose you are free to write as you wish here, which means that we are free to comment, also??
I totally agree with the above comments.
Now that you have come out of the shadows and hiding behind the protection of the Alzheimer's Association forum monitors everyone can see you for who you really are.
Without a monitor to protect you the real "man" is revealed. What is the old saying "Better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and prove it." Thank you for opening your mouth.
Will you be taunting all of those you have chased away from the Alzheimer's forum? If so this is going to be a record setting long blog.
The Alzheimer's Association has served no one by shutting you out of the message board for only two weeks. They are condoning your cruelty and game playing by allowing you back in at all. Shame on you.
Over two hundred people have left the Alzheimer's message board due to your taunting.
Kelli the monitor cleaned up behind you most of the time but on your blog you are unleashing your dark side. Good. Let everyone see the truth behind the facade.
Brode (I refuse to address you Mr) you are a very sick man. You are in serious need of help. You prey on the caregiver's or are there other forums with different issues you also prey on? You get such pleasure from hurting other while preaching "good vibes" You claim to be a writher yet you have this little "tick" .... but hey. I agree this is wonderful that you are out from under the Alz site, as other may see the real side of your sickness.
Anonymous (aka Deborah):
Sadly, you are the one with the problem. With a psychological hang-up. You are out of control. You find it virtually impossible to ignore me. You are obsessed. With me. You need to ignore me and get on with the rest of your life. Happily. Not with anger. In closing I would like to say...bless you. --Jim Broede
Brode (I refuse to address you Mr) you are a very sick man. You are in serious need of help. You prey on the caregiver's or are there other forums with different issues you also prey on? You get such pleasure from hurting other while preaching "good vibes" You claim to be a writher yet you have this little "tick" .... but hey. I agree this is wonderful that you are out from under the Alz site, as other may see the real side of your sickness.
I truly hope you did not think Deb wrote this because she did not.
You are a sick person the claims to be a "lover". You are evil. You are right on one thing your father was a very smart man. He did not have to watch his product turn into what he did.
It's hard keeping track of Deb's latest pseudonym. What is it today? --Jim
Once again Broede i just i am not deb. its really sad you think anyone that talks against you is her. I am me i called you evil cuz you are.
It does seem like YOU are obsessed with Deborah!!
Well now, isn't THAT special?
jim
Deborah Uetz shared with you about her brother Keith's suicide..at a time she needed someone to be a good listener..and jim..you are that..a good listener..
that was a choice she.. made..
in private emails to you..
now Deborah on this blog is choosing to deny..Keith.. had a previous attempt..
does she not know you have the emails she sent you..
she also used the word "hate" toward you..on this blog..
so she has serious anger issues..
I hope she finds forgiveness.. for herself..for knowing he had a plan
and she forgives you..as its not about.. you jim..it's about Deborah
your only crime is..being a good listener to another human being who is feeling guilt..for something she had no control over..as..when.. someone wants to kill themselves..they will find a way..if they do not get the help they need..to feel better about themselves..at that moment in time..
jim you are a kind..gentle man..you have lived 71 years..you loved your wife jeanne til she took her last breath..and you still love her..and her children..you have a beautiful home on a lake and you love.. life..and keep a positive attitude..and have shown other caregivers hope..they can survive alzheimers..
Deborah hurts..or she would not continue to punish you..about anything..
she would have ignored you completely..and this blog..
so consider doing just as you have...
giving Deborah compassion and patience and being tolerant with her..as..she needs this from you..at this time..til she..can..forgive..herself and you..
and it may never happen..some people need to.. hate..its all they have left..
love Rosie
fact...There was no prior attempt aside from trying another method of suicide that same night. (He wrote about that in his suicide note.)
fact...I did not write to Broede because I needed a good listener. I wrote asking that he stop writing posts about this on the Alzheimer's Association forum.
fact...I have nothing to forgive myself for. The sense of guilt is common after such a loss. After my brother's suicide I served as a moderator for a survivors forum for several years. The guilt is not grounded in fact but in a sense of wanting to turn the clock back and stop the violent end of someone's life.
May I suggest a book, The Suicidal Mind. It may help you work through some of your issues regarding your father's death. I hope you find peace.
Deborah
Deborah:
You may have had some memory lapses. But you could refresh your memory by referring to about a half dozen email letters we exhanged privately in January 2006. Please give special attention to the email of 1/12/06, titled "May I tell the first camp fire story?" You may find it rather enlightening. If you don't have a copy, I'll be happy to send you one. That should settle any dispute over the facts. I wish you the best. I really do. And you don't have to worry about me. I came to terms with my father's suicide a long, long time ago. It's been almost 60 years, you know. I've got on with my life, quite happily. I hope you also come to reconciling your grief over the loss of your dear brother Keith. We all come to terms in our own ways. Your way may work for you. And I assure you that my way works for me. People may be able to learn a lot from both of us. And, by the way, I think the two of us could learn a lot from each other. By focusing on what we have in common -- a loss of a family member to suicide. I've had much more time to deal with my loss. Maybe that's why I'm far ahead of you. I've been able to put it in a broad perspective linked to events and life experiences spread over almost six decades. Time, you know, heals lots of wounds. You've only had three years or so. Keep the faith, Deborah, and you'll come through.--Jim Broede
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