Sunday, August 26, 2007
I think that's fair...and wise, too.
I want broede’s broodings to be my personal domain. That’s why I’ve decided for the time-being to screen comments. This blog is my creation. Oh, I’ll listen to anyone who sends me a comment. And I’ll mull it over. And maybe I’ll even publish some of the uncivil and nasty remarks, too. But I won’t allow people to take this blog astray and make it something I don’t want it to be. I want my broodings to eventually draw a following that likes the notion of one being a romantic idealist, a religious free-thinker, a political, religious, social and economic liberal and a lover. And a relatively and reasonably happy being, too. One might say I’m at peace with myself. But I have this urge to probe people who don’t seem to be quite at peace with themselves, or with me, for that matter. All too often unhappy people. Depressed people. I’m trying to figure out why they are unhappy, and often cruel, not only to other people, but to themselves. It’s almost as if they hate themselves. And in the process they allow the hate to spill over to other people and life, in general. I’m amazed that so many people choose to be unhappy. And to be angry. A handful of them have tried to take over the comments section of this blog. To pollute it, so to speak. They act like guttersnipes. Uncouth. They’re mean and nasty. That’s not me. I’m kind. A romantic idealist. A free-thinker. A liberal. A lover. And let me repeat. I’m happy and at peace. For the most part. Yes, that’s me. And that’s how I intend to come across. In my blog. I intend to keep defining myself. I'll try to attract people of similar persuasion. And I’ll encourage chronic nay-sayers to go elsewhere. Albeit. I’ll tolerate dissenters to some extent. That is, as long as they stay somewhat polite and courteous. If they become totally ill-mannered and profane and hateful – well, then I’ll exercise my screening prerogative. I think that’s fair…and wise, too. –Jim Broede
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23 comments:
It is your personal domain Jim, which is why I for one have decided to leave it to you.
Just please no longer probe people from the Alzheimer's Forum whom you don't think are at peace with themselves, because you are so often wrong about them, and what you do in these postings just turn them against you. It is you they are unhappy with Jim, not their own lives.
I am also happy and at peace Jim, my life is full of wonderful grandchilden, a loving and supportive husband. My children are both married and happy.
Carry on making your "profound" posts and leave the Alzheimer's forum out of your "blog" - I thinks that's fair ... and wise too, don't you??
I am sure if you keep defining yourself, you will attract the people you want to read your "blog" and you can all live happily ever after.
I do not feel the need to define myself Jim and I wonder you do after living coming up to 72 years on this earth. We are what we are, and that's that. May God continue to bless you with happiness Jim. I will continue to do my best to help everyone on the Alzheimer's forum and just leave you to keep on admiring your "creation" and live in hope that you will find what you are looking for in your golden years.
Patricia:
I like to probe. Myself. And others. I find that fascinating. Sure, I may be wrong. And I may be right, too. I’m not afraid to speculate. To guess. To take risks. To try to figure out what makes me tick. And other people tick, too. I suppose that’s why I became a writer. For newspapers. And I like to try something new. All the time. And I like to think. Out loud. That’s what I’m doing here in broede’s broodings. I don’t always know where I’m going. It’s a little like walking into a vast wilderness. Of never being there before. And wondering what one will find in an hour or two, or the next day or the next week. That’s what some of the early explorers must have felt like. When they went into uncharted territory. Yes, I want to explore the cosmos. I want to delve into the unknown. And I like to at least try to define myself. I don’t know exactly who I am. Maybe never will. But I sure as heck would rather define myself and the world around me rather than allow others to do it for me. –Jim Broede
I hope you post this. Patricia asked that you stop writing about the people in the Alzheimer's forum. That is exactly what I am asking too. They should not have to be included in your blog since this blog is about you, not about them. If you do delve into who you are without inflicting hurt on the Alzheimer's forum members you will make your blog a dignified bit of reading. Certainly more dignified if you would remove the entries in which you mentioned them by name. That is in your control. It is the decent thing to do and to go forward writing about you. If they make a comment about you on the forum they are suspended. If they happen to read what you write about them on this blog they have no recourse. It will be interesting to see how you go forward and whether you correct the harm you have done in a few of your posts. I hope you do the right thing. What I think will happen is this...you won't print this and you will continue to write about them. Prove me wrong.
I'm mulling things over. Not sure what I'm gonna do. --Jim
Patricia:
I am only the proverbial tip of the iceberg. The people who are mad at me are mad at so many other things. At their fate. At Alzheimer's. At having to watch their loved ones fade away piece by piece by piece. Many of them are battling depression. They want consoling. And yes, they need consoling. But they need more than that. They need solutions. They need fixes. They need to find their way out of the morass. They need to find happiness again. One way or another. I feel for them. Really do. Some of 'em don't like it because I tell them they can do it. There are ways. And it's not all their fault that they are faced with seemingly unsolvable situations. We, as a society, have let them done. We have an inadequate health care system. Especially when it comes to dealing with dementia and mental illness. We have not adequately addressed the common good. We're a nation that wages war instead of waging peace. Instead of serving the common good. It's sad. But that's the way it is. And that's what people should be mad about. Rip-snorting mad. --Jim
I agree that people who find themselves at the mercy of this disease should be angry and they are. It seems if you would be gentle with your words of hope for them you could be a comfort. The problem comes when you call them whiners or say their loved ones need to be protected from them. For the most part they are doing the job of care giving well but they need a place to just vent. Just let them vent and continue to tell stories about coming through the darkness and finding light at the end of the tunnel. Do it here Jim and on the forum. Let this blog be a place they can come to read a wise man's words about surviving and living life instead of a place where they see you have called them names (sometimes using their actual names). THAT is what has fueled their comments. They don't care how you define yourself. It is when you define them that they are offended and righfully so.
You say you are "mulling it over." Removing the negative posts you have written (about forum members) is a way of removing a negative and inflamatory undertone and replacing it with your "happy with life" mantra. It is for you more than them. I doubt they come here anymore since it only brought pain to them.
You were open enough to print the previous comment. Act on it and get rid of the unflatering things you are defining yourself with. You are better than that and wiser than that. Show that you are not running this blog with an agenda of hurting them.
Jim—This evening Charlie and I went to the 'club'. While Charlie was occupied losing a game of pool, I questioned a Vietnam War vet about his feelings concerning the war in Iraq.
One of his comments was that at least the phrase "War on terror" sounded good and made some sense...but that the Vietnam War was totally senseless. When I asked him why... his response was..."The Vietnam War cost me a leg".
Been hearing more and more rumblings about the re-initiation of the draft...Some even stating that this time women will not be exempt and would utilized in non-combat situations. I like the idea...If everyone’s children (even the children of Congressmen and the well-to-do) faced the prospect being drafted and fighting, our nation would have a good reason not to become embroiled in wars like this one. It would be wonderful if future generations were spared the loss of life or limb in a war that they or their parents later concluded was senseless.
A universal draft might also bode well for your concept of required service. During every period of war, there are people (that because of religious or moral reasons) are granted exemptions from taking part in the actual fighting. If women were added to this group...the size of the force would be large...and...Their skills varied.
It would be ironic if a war that we despised produced massive amounts of good
Dear Anonymous:
I'm not saying everyone is a whiner and doing harm to their patients. Some are, it seems to me. But I haven't singled them out specifically by name. Some people assume that I meant them. And that's not necessarily so. I know enough not to name them by name. Because, well, I can't be absolutely certain. That's for them to decide. If the shoe fits, wear it. I'm saying that some folks that are care-givers really shouldn't be care-givers. They aren't suited for it. And they probably end up doing harm, to themselves, and worse yet, to their patients. Can't we acknowledge that? Some people don't make good care-givers. Gosh, there were times when I could have done better. Especially when I was caught up in the 24/7 grind. As I reflect, I think there were times I did harm. I really didn't get my act together until I became an 8-10 hour a day care-giver. When I got daily respite. And yes, I understand that some care-givers feel they have no alternative but to be 24/7 care-givers. Unfortunately, it sometimes results in harm to the care-giver and the patient. And it's time we recognized that. Some care-givers should be weeded out. For everyone's sake. Can't we admit to that? It should be no shame for some to admit they can't handle it. The shame is in not admitting it. --Jim Broede
Yes, Cherie, I often see good springing from bad. Even from Alzheimer's. And even from wars. And even from suicide. That's why I'm an optimist. I often reflect on the story of Job. So many bad things happened to him. But in the end, it was for the good. Life often evolves in strange and mysterious and ultimately good ways. Bad starts often end in good finishes. --Jim Broede
You addressed ONE of many concerns. You did not address targeting persons from the Alz. forum. You did not address removing the entries which are directed to or focus on Deborah.
Is that because you see a lot more comments when you make those attacks? Your "How we handle our personal tradgeies" and "For Keith's Sake" should not be on your blog if you have any true integrity. You control and edit this thing constantly. Why do you keept those personal attacks if you aim is to have a positive blog?
If it isn't just to stir the pot (which it obviously is) then take them down. Will you answer that or leave this comment unseen. OR will you simply post it and evade the question again. This is the crux of the matter. You angered people with the personal attacks and only those entries drew much of a reaction. I'll look back at the end of the day and see if you are truly a man who is a deep thinker or simply a troll. If you are a troll and do not allow people to defend themselves against attacks you will find yourself talking to no one but Rosie and the other one.
Think about it, anonymous. The only truly personal attacks in this blog are the ones aimed at me. Which is all right. Maybe I deserve some of 'em. But there have been no personal attacks aimed at others. At least not by me. I've addressed issues, such as suicide. And whiners, and the need for more positive attitudes. Also, I've addressed anger. And that I have no power to make people angry. They make themselves angry. And I've deplored the use of profanity and insults. And I've called for less hate and more love. More tolerance. I think only one person has been mentioned by name, and that in regard to an issue. And she initially used her own name, even when she listed herself as 'anonymous.' I wasn't the first to use her name in this blog. This thing ain't personal. Not with me. It's a split over our stands regarding a controversial issue. No more. No less. We both have legitimate points of view. Different views, yes. But legitimate. On both sides. I have the right to have my opinion. And she has a right to have hers. I respect her. And I hope she respects me. That's what I want around here. More respect. By everyone. That means being polite and courteous. We can agree to disagree. That's the sort of attitude I want to prevail in broede's broodings. --Jim Broede
Anonymous, did you mean to say that Jim did not address the issues in a manner that pleased you and some other contributors?
Are you attempting to speak for me? Your comments do not reflect my opinion.
Jim appears to be providing a level playing field on this blog. Your pot stirring anology seems out of place unless applied to you
By the way, anonymous, the person you call the "other one" is really Cherie. Beautiful Cherie. Yes, you can call her Beautiful Cherie. And as for Rosie, she's beautiful, too. It would be nice if you started calling her Beautiful Rosie. That would be a good move in the right direction. --Jim Broede
How can you say it wasn't personal?
You wrote about her brother and you used his name? It doesn't get any more personal than that. Rosie even used her full name in her post but Rosie has never used her real name on anything here or on the forum. How about some respect for Deborah?
I see you are defining me again Jim. FYI I am NOT "Beyond" neither is she "Mum". Still Happy and at peace with myself in the light of day.
Shame you took it on yourself to do this and help to bring a good thread, which was helpful to many down and deleted. Shame on you.
She has not and is not writing a book about suicide. I wish that she were because it would be helpful. I know it took her over three years to get back to her own life after reeling with his death.
She talked about writing a book to help others know that some of the things they may be thinking and feeling are normal. She was 1200 miles away when he took his life (first attempt and completed that night). She didn't want to live without him in her life. She felt like that for a long time.
It was too fresh and painful for her to write a survivors book and she abandoned the idea.
She has been a dear friend to me and I have seen the harm your words have caused.
Your blog has hit her quite hard. Obviously you could not care less. I didn't think you would.
I won't be back here either. Looking in to see if you were truly trying to make your blog a positive place and seeing the same things posted is all I need to know. I would urge everyone who comes in contact with you here or on the Alz. forum to be guarded and never speak you heart. You will find your words twisted and used against you.
Hey, Anonymous, life is personal. Deborah herself wrote about her brother. In the public forum. Talked about the suicide. Used her brother's name. It was very personal. And Deborah has announced that she's writing a book. About suicide. And Deborah has castigated me publicly. For calling my dad's suicide a heroic act. That was personal, too. Yes, I guess that's it, isn't it? Sometimes life gets to be very personal. And that's what we do in broede's broodings. We reflect life. We get personal. I think in a good way. --Jim Broede
And I owe a thank you to Patricia for calling to my attention that I had misspelled the word castigated in the comments post above this one. She homorously wondered if I meant castrated. Nope, I wouldn't want to be castrated. It's a horrid thought. I'd much rather be castigated. --Jim Broede
Whoops. I just misspelled the word humorously. I'm all shook up over the thought of castration. --Jim Broede
I do think we need more levity. Isn't it fun to laugh? Let's all try to lighten up. And I'll try to learn to spell. And type accurately. And be more accommodating. --Jim Broede
I wrote a comment about your claims that Deborah is writing a book about suicide (which she is not). I further addressed the fact that "personal" means belonging to THAT person. Write about your father's death. Leave her loss out of your blog. Are you going to post the comments or just giggle about spelling?
I wonder what your beloved wife would have thought about the way you are treating the Alz. forum members. I believe she would have been disgusted (if she was the person you portray her to be.)
To Anonymous August 28, 2007 1:48 PM--If you were referring to the anonymous comment on August 28, 2007 5:54 AM that appears on this very thread, you may be visually challenged. Posting with a name helps to make your comments stand out.
As far as what Jeanne's reaction to Jim's blog is concerned...I can only guess that she would be quite proud of her husband's candor, honesty, fairness (in printing your comment), and bravery
For those who want to see the UK Telegraph article that was on the forum...Doing a Google search with using... Godfrey Bell alz ...will produce the desired results.
Funny...The article does not look exactly like the one that Beyond posted. I could not find it anywhere else...but...she might have gotten it from another source. Or...She just may have done another sloppy copy and paste job.
I find the fact that she was thanked for doing detailed research laughable. It is surprising that she missed Godfrey Bell’s name or was not curious enough to Google further when the name was requested. If my memory serves me correctly...I believe that her response to Jim concerning the identity of the person writing in the first person was certainly not on target, and mildly provocative.
I don’t know what happened after I was called into work a few hours early...but...The absence of the thread when I came home was obvious. Shame on everyone (including myself) for helping to bring a thread down. Notice, I did not include the words GOOD or HELPFUL. They were deliberately omitted for the following reasons:
GOOD is a subjective term. What one considers good may not pass muster with someone else. A while back an entire postings by of Eagle’s Fly Higher that I had missed were deleted before I could copy them...Many parts of that thread were good and helpful for me. There was no outrage over that deletion.
HELPFUL (except that it dramatically focused attention on Alz.) is not a word that I would use to describe Godfrey Bell’s thoughts. I believe the word powerful would be better.
EVERY thread or posting is an expression on someone’s thoughts at that moment in time and should be treated with respect or ignored by those who are not in full agreement.
Yes, I know it is hard...At times I’ve done otherwise...but I’m improving. For example: There is one thread that has endured for several days that I find totally unacceptable and I’ve managed to sit on my hands. If I can continue doing it and others give it a try, the forum will be a more pleasant place.
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