Thursday, September 6, 2007
Maybe because we aren't upset enough.
I fully expect some readers of this blog to be upset – as well they should. Dealing with diseases such as Alzheimer’s and the pitfalls of life can be upsetting. I wouldn’t have it any other way. What do some of you expect? It to be a picnic? The nasty side of life can’t always be avoided. We have to learn to face up to it. To do something constructive about it. To find solutions. Sometimes, pity parties aren’t the answer. Yes, I’ve found positive ways to deal with Alzheimer’s, and with other predicaments in life. And sometimes I’ve been taken to task for it. For being unkind. Unsympathetic. Because I see things going wrong. I see exhausted and depressed care-givers. Many of ‘em on duty 24/7. Doing harm not only to themselves, but to their patients. Many of ‘em are leading very unhappy lives. In broken and failed marriages. With their own mental health problems. Yes, that’s very upsetting. To see this happening. And we all ought to be upset about it. The fact that we have a health care system that tolerates this stuff. Self-abuse of care-givers. And care-giver abuse of their patients. It’s a terrible system. Causing so much harm on so many fronts. And we as a society let it happen. Maybe because we aren’t upset enough. –Jim Broede
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Just talking from my own experience. Anyone who tries to be a 24/7 care-giver is either crazy or a saint. And I’m no saint. Yes, sometimes I’m crazy. Crazy Jim. But I know how to be sane, too. I recovered my sanity when I became an on-the-scene 8-hour-a-day care-giver. When I put in 24 hours a day at it, I was exhausted. And crazy for doing it. It made no sense. One can’t do a decent job of it. Not round-the-clock. I did Jeanne no favors by exhausting myself. That’s not love. That’s bull-headed stupidity. Oh, all I say to those who try to hang in as 24/7 care-givers, good luck. You’ll need it. I’m not necessarily saying put your loved one in a nursing home. But get help. Get relief. Maybe in your own home. Maybe in a day-care setting. If at all possible, make your care-giving an 8-hour-a-day thing. Give 8 hours of quality care. That’s better than 24-hour exhaustive care. Some care-givers sound exhausted. Maybe they are trying to be saints. Saints are masochists. –Jim Broede
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