They'd rather be portrayed as martyrs...

Read the threads in this blog aimed at incompetent Alzheimer care-givers. Those threads often draw hostile comments from the Ladies Aid Society from the Alzheimer’s message boards. Yes, I annoy some of those ladies. I make some of ‘em livid. Make them feel bad. Because I make them see themselves. Their not so noble sides. Make them see their incompetence as care-givers. They aren’t always willing to make the sacrifices required for their patients to receive adequate care. They allow themselves to become tired and exhausted and depressed – and thereby unfit mentally and emotionally and physically for care-giving. Too often, they need more care than their patients. That’s a shame. I understand. Because I was that way. For too long. When I was a 24/7 care-giver. I had too much to do. And no relief. That made me less than a competent care-giver. Oh, I acknowledge that some 24/7 care-givers are able to handle it. And do a relatively stellar job of it. But many don't. Wasn’t until I put Jeanne in a nursing home that Jeanne finally got what she deserved. Good care. It was good because I was being assisted by a team of competent professionals. Nurses. And nurses’ aides. And because I was there daily to provide supplemental care. Yes, I was on the scene 8-10 hours daily. Enough time to provide quality care for a change. I didn’t miss a day in 38 months. And yes, I had to make sacrifices for that to be possible. I had to spend down our nest egg. I had to retire. I had to rearrange my priorities. I had to qualify Jeanne for medical assistance. Government aid. But we got it all done. Finally, Jeanne was getting the care she needed, and the care she deserved. Too many Alzheimer patients don't…because of the stubbornness of their care-givers. Care-givers that don’t recognize they’re doing harm. They’d rather be portrayed as martyrs than do what’s best for the patient. –Jim Broede