Good luck, Kathy.

"Well, tomorrow is the day, JR will go to Dawson and so will begin a new era of our lives," writes Kathy on the Alzheimer's message boards. "He will be in an AD (Alzheimer's) unit at the nursing home. The home is a 75 minute drive from our home. I am still struggling if I am doing the right thing for him. I know he needs more care than I can give and I know I can no longer leave him alone for any period of time while I am at work."

Kathy sums up how many care-givers feel.

"I just cannot get over this horrid feeling of sadness," she adds. "I guess I am just not ready for this era of my life to be over."

It won't be easy, Kathy, but you can adjust. Do as you plan. Visits every other day. Try to stay reasonably rested. Yes, it is the end to your customary way of life. But you can still be relatively happy, and adjusted. You are still working. You'll still have social contacts at work. Try to find happiness in little activities. Appreciate what you still have left of your husband. Maybe just little things. Try to make life a little more bearable for him. Love him, despite the disease. You may well come out of this a better person. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I dealt with it for 13 years. I had ups and downs. But I learned to cope. And so can you. My Jeanne died a year ago. I'm still finding new ways to cope. And I'm still in love with life. I had almost 40 good years with Jeanne. That counts for something, you know. Even though she's gone, her spirit still dwells in me. I'm sure the same will go for you -- your husband's spirit will always be a part of you. You won't lose that. Meanwhile, good luck, Kathy. I'll be pulling for you. --Jim Broede