If she hadn't, I wouldn't be here.

My mother would have turned 94 today. Had she lived. She died at 88. Not bad. A long life. A decent life overall. My dad died at 38. Suicide. Anyway, I always felt I was blessed. Because mom was around for so very long. I didn't cry when she died. Because I think she was getting tired of living. Her second husband, my stepfather, had died 15 years before mom. Mom missed him. And so many of her friends had died. And her health was declining. So I think she had little desire to live. Maybe she willed herself to die. I suppose that's a form of suicide, too. Just losing the will to live. I don't know if mom believed in an afterlife. She wasn't very religious -- that is, in the conventional sense. I don't know if she even believed in god. But I think mom believed in life. And in love. And though she experienced much sadness in life, she also had much happiness. Anyway, I'm glad she lived. If she hadn't, I wouldn't be here. --Jim Broede