...what Jeanne taught me.

Took me 10 years to learn to cope with Alzheimer's. I don't know if that makes me a slow learner. But at least I learned. How to be a decent care-giver. Guess what I learned most was acceptance. My dear Jeanne had Alzheimer's for at least 13 years. It came on rather gradually. Sneakily. Little signs. Then it got worse. And worse. However, seems to me in the last 3 years, it got better. Maybe that was just my subjective perception. Because I was finally able to deal with it. In a manner that I think made Jeanne feel more comfortable. Could be that I never lost my cool in those 3 years. At least, not in Jeanne's presence. I immersed her in good vibes. In positive responses to everything she did. I tried to remove stress from Jeanne's life. The best I could. And I think that made a significant difference. I wish I had done a better job of it in the first 10 years. It wasn't necessarily a bad effort. It just wasn't good enough. Didn't meet my current standards. I made too many mistakes. Oh, I can find excuses. For a while, I was overwhelmed. It was impossible to keep going 24/7 year after year. Too much of an emotional, mental and physical strain. I doubt that even a saint would make it through that kind of grind. Without relief. I finally got daily respite when Jeanne entered a nursing home. She lived there for 38 months. But I was there every day. Usually for 8 to 10 hours. And I truly tended to Jeanne. In so many, many ways. One on one. And I enjoyed it. In large part because Jeanne was so positively responsive. Pleasant. Loveable. I was wishing this routine would go on forever. When Jeanne died, I wasn't ready for it. I wasn't sure I could live without Jeanne. I thought maybe I wanted to die, too. But I began to reflect. And it was as if Jeanne was talking to me. From the spriit world. That life is a blessing. And that every day of it should be savored. Not wasted. And so I'm following Jeanne's orders. I'm doing what Jeanne taught me. --Jim Broede