Accepting life as it is.

I hear Alzheimer care-givers complain that there's no worse way for their loved ones to die. But I'm not so sure about that. I'd have taken it harder if my dear Jeanne had died of an accident at a young age or by suicide or in a war. So many ways to die. None of 'em are really nice. Death is death is death. Dying wouldn't have been any easier if my Jeanne had been murdered on the day she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. As it turned out, she lived an additional 13 years. In varying states of dementia. Many of those years were productive and loving and memorable. Her final weeks may not have been the best time of her life. But still, we milked a lot from the Alzheimer's sojourn. It wasn't a total loss. And I gotta say it was nice to have the extra time I had with Jeanne. Time bought by the relatively slow progression of the dementia. It didn't all happen at once. And today I'm still benefiting from my time as a reasonably devoted care-giver. I learned a lot. Including new ways to love. In unconditional ways. It's as if Jeanne and I were being put to a test. And we passed it. Maybe not always with A-plus grades. But with pretty good grades overall. We graduated cumma sum laude. And neither one of us is whining about the experience. We accept life as it is. --Jim Broede