On how to stay svelte.

My true love has a cleaning lady that comes in twice a week. Her name is Claudia. And she does everything. From mopping floors to making the bed to doing the dishes. In between Claudia’s appearances, I do much of the housework. With relish. I really like to do housework. And cook, too. Although my true love doesn’t eat everything I cook. Especially the German stuff. Such as sauerkraut and bratwurst and wiener schnitzel. She especially abhors the scent of sauerkraut. And burns incense every time I cook up a batch. My true love is Italian and prefers Italian food. Which I like, too. But I also like a wider variety of food. I’ll try just about anything. Eating has become a pleasant ritual. Especially in the evening. When I eat very, very slowly. Always finishing long after my true love. I often skip lunch, or at most have a very light one. And breakfast is light, too. But not as light as lunch. Eating and working out are two of my favorite pastimes. When properly combined, they keep me svelte. For which I’m proud. –Jim Broede