By making sense of it all.

I know youngsters going through tough times. Right here in my neighborhood. Because of marriage break-ups. Their parents going in different directions. I'm tempted to stick in my nose. To talk to the kids. But I'm often cautioned to mind my own business. By family friends and acquaintances. That it's not a good time to talk. Because the kids and the families are in the midst of emotional turmoil. But I counter that's exactly why one should intervene. To encourage talking it all out. To face up to what's happening. And why. And how to deal with it. A marriage break-up is a little like when my father committed suicide, and I was 13. In those days, suicide or a divorce in the family was considered shameful. We didn't talk very openly about it, if we talked at all. It was hush-hush. I never quite understood that approach. Because it's stupid. One should talk. And reflect. And make sense of it all. And learn to accept the situation. And make the best of it. Learning how to cope with disruptions in one's family is an important part of growing up. And the best way to do that is facing life head-on. Dealing with adversity when it happens. Putting it all in perspective. Things happen. One might say shit happens. But it ain't the end of the world. My dad's suicide, for instance. As I reflect decades later, it wasn't all bad. Much good came from it. I learned how to cope. To deal with life in effective and meaningful ways. By thinking. My talking. Yes, by making sense of it all. --Jim Broede