Better than Julie.

My neighbor Julie asks, ‘How are you?’ I suspect she really wants to know. Therefore, I reply, ‘Better than you.’ Might as well be honest. Knowing that Julie isn’t feeling good. Because she’s an Alzheimer’s care-giver. For her father. For five years and counting. And she’s contemplating putting dad into assisted living. Has been. For a long time now. But she never gets around to making the ultimate decision. Puts off the inevitable. Another day. Another week. It adds up. Julie is full of guilt. She wakes with guilt. Goes to bed at night with guilt. She never gets rid of guilt. It’s with her all the time. I’d hate to live that way. So I don’t. Makes me feel better than Julie. And I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it. Used to be that I felt guilty. About this and that. Maybe the guilt motivated me to be a better care-giver. For my dear sweet wife Jeanne. Maybe that’s why for a long time I was a 24/7 care-giver. But then Jeanne went into a nursing home. For the last 38 months of her life. And instead of being 24/7, I was a devoted care-giver for 8 to 10 hours a day.  Didn’t miss a single day. With Jeanne. But I also didn’t miss my daily respite.  I became a much better care-giver. Truly loving. Truly competent. And guilt-free.–Jim Broede