The way life is supposed to be.

I spent six hours with my Alzheimer-riddled friend Ron last night. So that his care-givers, Rick and Julie, could go out to dinner. With friends. Respite. Respite. Respite. That’s what they need. Really, daily respite. But that’s very difficult. To achieve. I didn’t get it. When I cared for my dear sweet Jeanne. That is, until Jeanne entered a nursing home. For 38 months. I put in 8 to 10 hours a day. Providing supplemental care for Jeanne. But I was generally at home by 10 p.m. And didn’t show up until 10 or 11 the next morning.  That gave me 12 or 13 hours of respite. And solitude. Every day. Time to replenish myself. To regenerate. To rejuvenate. To refresh. That’s why I’m willing to step in. Occasionally. And give Rick and Julie time off. Every care-giver needs it. And many don’t get it. But those that do get respite are far better care-givers. They are able to exude good vibes. And actually enjoy the care-giving. There’s a sense of accomplishment. Achievement. Success. Good vibes permeate the environs. People with dementia know it. Sense it. They tend to be more calm. More responsive. In positive ways.  It’s good for everyone. Meanwhile, when Rick and Julie were gone, I worked with Ron. Stimulated him. Mentally.  Physically. Emotionally, too. He’s a man of many moods. For a while, he was agitated. But I worked on relaxing him. I use all kinds of tricks. Good vibes stuff. I don’t force him to do anything. Instead, I try to create an environment. That puts him at ease. That stimulates him. Into an upbeat/positive mood.  I work with him. One on one. Face to face.  In a soothing tone of voice. I’ll give him a shoulder massage. Tell him to relax his muscles.  Because that tends to relax the mind, too.   I walked him down to my house. For supper. My cats jumped up on his lap. He was focused. On having a good time. Focused on feeling pleasure. Sure beats sitting on a sofa in a nursing home. Watching television. Ron and I were socializing. Truly socializing.  Making each other feel good. Meanwhile, Rick and Julie were out. Feeling good. Everybody was feeling good last night.  That’s the way life is supposed to be. –Jim Broede