Finding a way. Out of my funk.

Perhaps I am in depression. A mild form. Don't know. I feel uneasy. Apprehensive. Maybe it's anxiety. Nothing more. Nothing less. I read. That anxiety and depression are closely linked. Makes me wonder. When does anxiety lapse into depression? There must be degrees. And causes. I'm beginning to feel scared. But scared of what? Don't exactly know. A sign that I'm not facing up. To whatever it is. Am I avoiding a truth?  Because I'm scared. Of something. But what? Perhaps my own demise. My mortality. Am I losing control of my life?  Maybe I have fooled myself. Almost all of my life. Into thinking that I was in control. When I wasn't. Maybe I have to find new ways to fool myself. More effectively. I am trying to occupy my mind. With positive thoughts. Maybe the answer is to quit thinking about myself. To turn outward. To pay more attention to activity and events around me. Today. It is snowing. A white blanket covers my Earth. Time to go for a walk. I brought home a cat yesterday. A companion for Loverboy. Her name is Snowflake. Very appropriate. She's a totally white cat. I am introducing her to Loverboy. Gradually. Think I heard Loverboy hiss. A mild, maybe friendly perfunctory hiss. Anyway, I'm going to try forgetting myself today.   I have to find a way.  Out of my funk. --Jim Broede