Please, put me to the test.

We are all routinely asked, 'How are you?' And we usually reply, 'Just fine.' Except me. I've taken to proclaiming, 'Better than you.' Now that could be taken in several different ways. Positively. And negatively. Anyway, I do it with a purpose. To gauge the reaction. And to get people to think about it. If they have a sense of humor, it's nice to announce my superiority. That I'm an elite. Top in my class. No reason for me to be humble. Of course, if they take me seriously. That's all right, too. Because it's a sign that I have a superior sense of humor. And I can rub it in. My all-too-depressive friend Julie asks me the same question. Virtually every time I see her. Unfortunately, my patented answer is all-too-true. I really am better than she. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. The good news. Julie's beginning to understand my point. That it's time for her to become better than me. That would make me happy. I might even jump high in the air and click my heels. Wish Julie would put me to the test. --Jim Broede