It's downright embarrassing.

My true love has been with me for eight idyllic days now. Today we are going to an Olympic-size swimming pool. To cavort in the water. This will arouse curiosity. Because she's a mermaid. Takes naturally to the water. At home, she swims in the Mediterranean Sea. Of course, she can choose between Minnesota's 12,000-plus lakes. But she prefers swimming laps. In a swimming pool. Seems exhaustive to me. But mermaids have special abilities and high endurance. Shes trying to teach me to float on my back. But I tend to sink. Like a rock. It's downright embarrassing. I'm not a merman.--Jim Broede