Thursday, August 30, 2007
...a huge void in their lives.
I think there’s a certain type of woman that dislikes me. I’ve come across maybe 6 to 8 of ‘em on the Alzheimer’s message boards. Some of 'em absolutely detest me. They’d like to run me off the message boards. To go away. Disappear. And I think these women have something in common. They lack adequate love in their lives. Most of ‘em, I think, have had failed or failing marriages. And I remind ‘em of it. I remind ‘em that they are unhappy. Because I tell them that I’m happy. Because I’ve loved. And been loved. Because I’ve had a fulfilling marriage. I loved my Jeanne. Totally. Completely. Unconditionally. They get sick and tired of hearing it. From me. Some have out-rightly said so. Because they want what I’ve got. They want to be loved. Romantically. Unconditionally. And they haven’t got anyone to whisper in their ear, “I love you. Forever. Totally. Completely. You are my love goddess.” That leaves a huge void in their lives. –Jim Broede
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24 comments:
I think one of the saddest things that can happen in one's life is to lack love. To not have loved, or not to be loved. That's even sadder than having Alzheimer's Disease. --Jim Broede
Okay, I’ve had enough of your ridiculous rants about the women who go to the message board to help each other. My wife has been upset more times than I can count over the years (by you). She goes there for companionship and to talk with people who have similar challenges in their life. She is having a hard time dealing with the way Alzheimer’s has changed everything. Hardly a week goes by that you don’t shake things up with a snide remark. Now that you have this blog it seems like you run over here to tell on them like you are a little school girl on a playground. They are not interested in having their feelings “probed” or read about their lives on this blog. They sure don’t need you trying to figure out THEIR problem when you are obviously in serious need of some kind of help. Move on, leave the ladies alone.
All I can tell you, Mr. Husband, is that I’ve been kind and considerate on the Alzheimer’s message boards. I’ve had over 4,300 posts since January 2005. Please read them at random and at your leisure and if you find a snide remark from me, please bring it to my attention. I’ve been a real nice guy. Polite. Courteous. Obliging. You might say I’ve been a gentleman. But some of the distressed ladies have tried to browbeat me occasionally. With plenty of snide remarks and nasty name-calling. For the most part, I’ve turned the other cheek. Oh, I'm known to be a bit opinionated. But I’ve stayed -- with rare exception – well within the Alzheimer Association’s stringent guidelines. Everything from me currently on the message boards meets the rules. If I’m wrong about that, show me. With specifics. Meanwhile, if your wife has been offended by anything I’ve posted there, I apologize. Of course, I have more freedom of expression on my blog. Which means, I ain’t gonna take any more abuse from the ladies. I'll fight back. –Jim Broede
P.S. We men have to stick together. Some of the other men have fled the message boards rather than take some of the verbal abuse from the ladies. But I'm sticking around.
To brag about the easy going posts that remain on the message board isn't fooling anyone. I have seen them BEFORE they were removed by those in charge. Writing something mean spirited still counts even if it is removed by a monitor. I don't have to look further than what you have written here to see exactly what the head game is. Manipulation and playing people like chess pieces amuses you. No one else.
Good try, not buying it. Be a man and stop trying to beat up on women. That's all I have to say to you. I have more to do than read this blog. I hope you can find something constructive to do too, something that doesn't include picking apart women. Be nice to people. They just might like you.
A husband has hit the nail on the head. You do enjoy stirring the pot with some on the board. With your twisting of words. You are right whats there is all within the limits, yet you have had many (not a rare exception, though not able to prove) deleted, due to being outside the limits. Not once have you admitted that NOT everyone with Alz is the same. Not everyone will be aggressive, not all will be calm, not all will wander ect. Not everyone has the time to take care of their own family and also be able to be out of the home visiting LO in a nursing home. Not all are of age to retire, Not all can afford to quit a job. So your way is Not the only way. Everyone that goes there is able to do it the Broede way. In any support group those there are looking for a shoulder, yours is sharp. More like a elbow to ribs. Offer your advice, don't cram it down someones throat.
May I suggest you start really doing something positive. Write your elected officials, make calls, stir the pot with them. It just might do something positive. Help find a cure, Help those that are caregivers. You state your enjoy walking, running, how about raising money for Alz. Memory walk, run. There are plenty of ways to help. You state you do work at a animal shelter, why not work on helping "Lets get the nation going on Ending Alz".
Think about it had Jeanne not had Dementia she may still be with you. You would have that lady you loved so much. Other men would have the ladies they love/loved so much. If only they had a cure, a hint, a way to prevent those bookstore incidents ( I am sure if Jeanne knew what happened she would of been truly embarrassed).
Husbands are equal with their wives. Alz doesn't pick one race, sex, it attacks all. All need to stick together, its a one way street, with a lot of curves, bumps, mountains. No one gets the same map, yet all going in the same direction on different roads. All on the road called Alzheimer's. Jim get out, fight for a way others may never have go down that road. Remember what it was like, Remember how it all could of been, Remember how it could of been with Jeanne now if she hadn't pasted onto a spirit. Think of what you could have, Think of her sitting next to you cooking meals, going on trips, even back to Germany, Think of the walks hand and hand, Think of having words of comfort, just think.
Get out make a difference, Not here, not on forums. Go for the guts of the nation. GET the NATION GOING ON A CURE!
Get off the playground. Make a difference.
Dear Husband:
Whenever one of my threads was deleted, it invariably was the result of snide, nasty, ill-tempered replies. The threads were polluted by people who were less than polite and courteous. It's all right to disagree and take issue, but let's do it in a respectful manner. I think the therads I've had deleted you could count on the fingers of your two hands. Hey, not bad. Maybe 10 out of over 6,000, if you keep going back to November 2003, when I first came aboard the wonderful Alzheimer's message boards. Some of you folks are focusing on the miniscule. The 1 percent bad instead of the 99 percent good. Yes, that's what I'm saying. The glass is 99 percent full and 1 percent empty. --Jim Broede
Interesting isn't it Anonymous said some things .... it got posted but ignored by JB, Was that because you needed to jump up to stir the pot more
Seems to me, dear Anonymous, that just about everybody that posts a comment stirs the pot, so to speak. Even you. Anyway, thanks for participating. For reading the blog. Have you noticed, we've had almost 4,000 hits? And we've been in business less than 4 weeks. I want to thank everybody for their support of the blog. --Jim
You’ve got me thinking, Keli. About whether I could have loved Jeanne 'unconditionally' if she had been an alcoholic or a smoker. Actually, it was far easier to accept Jeanne with the disease of Alzheimer’s because she had no control over it. It was fate. But if she had been an addicted drinker or smoker, she had the option, if not being completely cured, at least recovered. She could have taken voluntary action to quit. To get reasonably well again. With Alzheimer’s, Jeanne had no choice.
My sister is an alcoholic and a smoker – a double whammy. Now it’s difficult for me to accept my sister, to love her unconditionally, because she refuses to kick the addictions, refuses to get well again. I sort of write off my sister. I’d find it a lot easier to profess love for my sister if she did what I consider to be the right thing. No more booze. No more cigarettes. In essence, I look at those negative addictions as slow forms of – well, that controversial “S” word we’re supposed to try to avoid using in this forum. And my sister knows what it is. And she acquiesces. Yes, I find that hard to accept. One might even say I resent my sister for what she's doing to herself. --Jim
Jim Broede jbbroede@hotmail.com
Please tell me how I stired the pot Jim? I would hope that you would want them to find a cure. Is that not so? Please do answer this in public.
Jim,
It is wrong that you are using this blog in the manner that you are ...if you are using it to promote health and harmony then that is a good thing..but to just hurt people that is wrong..I don;t expect you to post this. I really will be suprised if you do...think about it Jim. Think of your loving wife...do something positive for this awful disease. Stop saying hurtful things ...we have enough of that already...everyday...
Gale
Yes, Anonymous, you picked up a nice quote from me. And it’s accurate. I admit that it’s quite possible that I’ve loved only one person unconditionally in my entire life. I’m not necessarily proud of it. Well, on second thought, yes I am proud. I think it’s quite an accomplishment to have loved another – my dear Jeanne – unconditionally. It may be the biggest achievement of my life. The most rewarding. The most fulfilling. That shows me it’s possible. And yes, I’d like to be able to love mankind as a whole. But I don’t think that’ll happen. Not in this lifetime. Meanwhile, I think I’m being honest in admitting that I don’t love my sister totally. Completely. Unconditionally. Yes, for the time being, I’ve sort of written her off. In that I don’t keep contact. Does that make me a bad guy? Well, I guess it makes me human. We’re all in that kind of predicament, aren’t we?. We don’t love enough. Me. You. Everyone. We’re even supposed to love our enemies – that is, if we listen to Jesus. But too often in this world I see outright hate. Maybe that’s where I draw the line. I don’t hate anyone. But I love some. To a degree. Yes, even my sister. But not nearly to the extent that I love Jeanne. –Jim Broede
Oh, dear Anonymous, please don't play dumb. You know full well how you stir the pot. By implying that I don't want a cure for Alzheimer's. By the way, take this as a compliment. I'm saying you are just playing dumb -- that you really aren't that dumb. Yes, you play dumb to stir the pot even more. With you around, we'll always have a well-stirred pot. --Jim Broede
Dear Rainbowheart:
I am using this blog to promote the truth and for your enlightenment. Keep tuning in and you'll catch the positive drift. --Jim Broede
I thought I had very good ideas. You claim to have "all" the answers. I thought you would being in alot of money to help find the cure. Guess I was wrong. Also I do NOT see the answer to my questions.
Money isn't necessarily the cure for everything, dear Anonymous. We need brain power. People like a Jonas Salk. People out to find a cure for the sake of a cure -- rather than to make money. That's too often the motivating factor these days. How much money can one make? The rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer. And why cure a disease when the health care/medical industry can make more money off sick people? It's profitable. Just like war is profitable for the munitions/weapons makers. Let's see who can make the most bucks by exploiting the general population. --Jim Broede
Dear Mr Broede--
Good evening, May I share....
I think you seemed to of missed the point here.
May I suggest you start really doing something positive. Write your elected officials, make calls, stir the pot with them. It just might do something positive. Help find a cure, Help those that are caregivers. You state your enjoy walking, running, how about raising money for Alz. Memory walk, run. There are plenty of ways to help. You state you do work at a animal shelter, why not work on helping "Lets get the nation going on Ending Alz".
Think about it had Jeanne not had Dementia she may still be with you. You would have that lady you loved so much. Other men would have the ladies they love/loved so much. If only they had a cure, a hint, a way to prevent those bookstore incidents ( I am sure if Jeanne knew what happened she would of been truly embarrassed).
Husbands are equal with their wives. Alz doesn't pick one race, sex, it attacks all. All need to stick together, its a one way street, with a lot of curves, bumps, mountains. No one gets the same map, yet all going in the same direction on different roads. All on the road called Alzheimer's. Jim get out, fight for a way others may never have go down that road. Remember what it was like, Remember how it all could of been, Remember how it could of been with Jeanne now if she hadn't pasted onto a spirit. Think of what you could have, Think of her sitting next to you cooking meals, going on trips, even back to Germany, Think of the walks hand and hand, Think of having words of comfort, just think.
Get out make a difference, Not here, not on forums. Go for the guts of the nation. GET the NATION GOING ON A CURE!
I think anonymous was suggesting you seem like such a good "writer", "lover" "liberal" "the good vibes docter" all around best of caregiver's that your time might be best spent contacting people that could make it so that they maybe find a cure or prevention of alzheimer's so they won't make money off it. What a wonderful thought of Your dear Jeanne in your arms, still no wheelchair, no diapers, no nursing home, your bed. The woman you need to fill that void. If only there would of been something to prevent your Jeanne from all that. Wouldn't it just be wonderful. You knowing all there is about caregiving would make a great person to get things moving. Its a shame for one that calls itself a lover, one would think that you would want that for all. You always make me smile, now turned to a frown.
At the moment, dear Anonymous, I think it's more important to get universal health care in the good 'ol USA. A single pay system. Let's get the private insurance companies out of the picture. They're in it for the profits. Yes, a cure for Alzheimer's would be welcome, too. And a cure for cancer. And for Parkinson's. And for virtually every disease and malady. But let's take better care of the people that are sick today. Universal health care would be a good first step in the right direction. That's where my energy and focus goes. That's a priority even higher on my list than a cure for Alzheimer's. I'm also for a society that's more focused on serving the common good. And on ending wars. Finding diplomatic alternatives to war. If we weren't spending $2 billion a week on the war in Iraq, we could put that toward research aimed at curing all sorts of diseases. I also would be happy to contribute time and money to any effort to impeach George Bush. Even though I know it won't happen. But that doesn't stop me from dreaming of things that would be good for the USA. --Jim Broede
ki understand all of that Mr Broede, now if I may ask....
When is the last time you wrote your elected officals? Called them voicing your thoughts? Do you exercise your vote in all elections or only those that have something in your interest?
If I may also add I agree heathcare needs to change BUT I see you come from the Alzheimer's board and that is why I asked about the cure for it. The ones you claim should listen to you use your good vibes, your cures that made Jeanne get "better" I don't think that many (its possible that Jeanne was 1 in millions that got "better") loved ones get better. Maybe if some did they could be real "mothers in law's wifes, mothers fathers, father in laws sisters and brothers even friends. So that is why I used Alzheimer's, not in general health care. It is from your statements from forum, and this blog.
That a clearer picture for you? You seem want throw your values at those on the board, I am only trying to keep focus on one thing at a time. Not spreading myself "to thin".
Broede's Broodings said...
"At the moment, dear Anonymous, I think it's more important to get universal health care in the good 'ol USA. A single pay system. Let's get the private insurance companies out of the picture."
Well, that certainly gets you off the hook, right?
All talk, no action. Universal health care would work just like the "Liberals'" welfare programs. Nope. Didn't work. Had to change it. The Liberal program was causing the recipients to become so dependent on hand-outs, they could not help themselves. The People are better served, if they are provided ways to help themselves. You cannot have a Democracy, with the People so dependent on their Government. Health care needs to be more available and accessable to all, not handed to everyone!
This is America! Companies do operate for profits! Wake up! How about this: $2 billion a week to keep religious, fanatical terrorists from bombing up our cities. THEY are the ones killing their own women and children. How do you think we find out about their plots against US, and prevent them?
Your energy goes toward THINKING and DREAMING, not DOING. Get your head out of the clouds, or sand or....wherever it is.
Think about this, Jim: you get President Bush impeached and what do you get?? PRESIDENT CHENEY!!! Ha ha. Have you considered that??
You ARE in a position to make a difference, but, because you think you can't make that big splash, you aren't going to do anything. Well, if you can't walk the walk, you should not talk the talk. If you can't do it all, you aren't going to do anything.
If you find so much wrong with the USA, why don't you just move to a country more Totalitarian, or better yet, Communist. Those seem more to your liking.
I think this blog is an example of action, dear Anonymous. I'm arousing folks like you. I'm getting your juices flowing. I like to stimulate ordinary citizens like you. I like to poke fun at conservatives. Give 'em a little taste of their own medicine. I love to espouse my liberal views. Some of you conservatives would like to make it illegal to be a liberal. But I'm darn proud to be a liberal. And a free-thinker, too. And a lover. A romantic idealist. And a relatively happy camper. And I want to make America a little more like Sweden and Finland. I'm really a socialist at heart. Many of the so-called liberals in America aren't liberal enough for me. I may even be left of liberal. I'm working for change, believe me. In my own way. But I want big change. Not just little change. That's what I'm working for, dear Anonymous. A revolution, of sorts. This blog is a reflection of what I'm working for. It's a way for me to have a voice. A way for me to speak my mind. I'm telling you what I believe. We need more folks like me around here. People who aren't afraid to challenge conventional thinking. --Jim Broede
Anonymous--- Your comment containing “The Liberal program was causing the recipients to become so dependent on hand-outs, they could not help themselves. The People are better served, if they are provided ways to help themselves. You cannot have a Democracy, with the People so dependent on their Government. Health care needs to be more available and accessible to all, not handed to everyone! ” is a cut above most anonymous contributions. It would easier for others to find and follow your comments if you picked a ‘screen name’ for use here.
Changing the lst sentence to... The existing program was causing the recipients to become so dependent on hand-outs, many would not help themselves...would make it easier for me to agree with.
I’m beginning to question if we have a democratic government...Sure citizens are given the freedom to vote...Because of the great amount of money required to finance a campaign the choices are limited. In recent years I’ve been reduced to casting my vote against someone instead of being able to vote for a candidate that I could support. Many elected to office act like they have been bought and paid for by big business and the moneyed elite instead of following the desires of the electorate.
I do agree that “Health care needs to be more available and accessible to all.” It appears to me that ‘insurance companies and the drug industry’ have benefited more than the Medicare recipient from the new drug plan. Do you honestly think that any privatized program would yield different results?
Dear Cherie,
If I may suggest,
You too might be able to help if you channeled your words in the right direction.
Which Anonymous are you? It matters not one iota...One nameless person is just as good as another.
You do not know me...We are not exchanging letters. That you would call me "dear" leads me to believe that I should call you "fool".
Only a fool, or an egotist with a closed mind would presume that my words are channeled in the wrong direction.
Right and wrong...when it comes to philosophical matters and even many issues of morality...are matters of individual conscience.
Anyone incapable of grasping that concept is someone who mentally is beyond all hope. I must have overrated you...Perhaps you should stick with the screen name 'Anonymous'.
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