Saturday, August 18, 2007
Sad. Sad. Sad.
I find so many, many unhappy people on the Alzheimer's message boards. Mostly, they are overworked, over-stressed care-givers. Almost all of 'em women. They're depressed. Some even talk about suicide. They're really in bad, bad shape. Some of 'em, that is. They really have no business being care-givers. Because they are in worse shape than their patients. But it's as if they see no practical alternative. No solution. Well, I sometimes tell them they'd be better off placing their loved one in assisted living or a nursing home. And then visit often. But get daily respite. Yes, sometimes it's far better to be a relatively rested quality care-giver than a beleaguered quantity care-giver on duty 24/7. But so many of 'em tell me they're trapped, they can't do it. So they continue to harm themselves and their patients. Sad. Sad. Sad. --Jim Broede
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Tuesday, Jan. 16. Morning.
I’m scared. Jeanne is sick. Maybe it’s pneumonia. Maybe it’s congestive heart failure. More likely pneumonia. But we don’t know for sure. She’s taking 42 breaths a minute. Her pulse rate is 120. And we have her hooked up to oxygen. And Jeanne isn’t eating. Yes, I’m scared. I take a break. Outdoors. I go for walks. And it feels so strange. To be outdoors without Jeanne. Not pushing a wheelchair. For 2 days now. Every time Jeanne gets sick, I’m scared. I worry. I fret. I cry. Silently. I know the end will come. Sooner or later. For both of us. I’m so thankful for the reprieves. For 13 years now. And I’m thankful especially for the past 3 years. When I thought I had lost Jeanne, only to have her rally again and again and again. Mentally. And physically. I guess I crave forever. And then I realize maybe there is no forever. And I wonder momentarily how can I survive without Jeanne? I look at Jeanne as I scribble this. Her mouth open. Her eyes closed. Breathing laboriously. And I wonder if the fight for life is worth it. I am sad. And weary. Not the happy, go-lucky Jim. At this moment. I know I have to bounce back. I want another reprieve. I want forever. I want happiness. I want Jeanne. I want everything.
Tuesday, Jan. 16. Evening.
I ask a nurse if I should be concerned. And she tells me, no. We’re treating Jeanne with an antibiotic. She’ll be on it for 14 days. And it usually takes 72 hours to kick in. And I do feel a little bit reassured. Jeanne is somewhat better. She opens her eyes. Some of the vital signs have improved. And I get Jeanne to sip a full glass of apple juice. No solid foods all day. Strange. She isn’t running a fever. Not at all during this illness. But they tell me, pneumonia is that way. Sometimes, there’s no fever. No cough. Just difficulty breathing. Congestion. And we’re breaking that up. And by morning I’m expecting significant easier breathing.
Wednesday, Jan. 17.
It’s a rough day. For Jeanne. For me. Jeanne’s on an IV. Because we think she’s dehydrated. She takes 44 breaths per minute. Her heart is pounding. Yes, 140 beats per minute.
But by nightfall, we see some improvement. Jeanne’s respiration is down to 20-some breaths per minute. The pulse rate is down to 100. And I’m a bit less scared. But still scared. By the thought – well, you know. Yes, folks, sometimes I hurt, too. Sometimes I’m just plain scared. Like the rest of you. I’m vulnerable. Don’t you see that? Are you blind? Yes, I count my blessings. And I live in the moment. And not every moment is bliss. But overall, life is wonderful. I'm 71, and happy that I've lived. And that I'm still living. And that maybe I'll have Jeanne for another day. And another. And another. And another. --Jim
And from those you love to hurt:
Jim,
I am so sorry to hear that Jeanne is ill. Have they taken a chest x-ray to check for pneumonia? Not being nosy, just didn't hear it from you.
It is sad that, no matter how hard we try not to, something or someone forces us to take a glimpse beyond today, beyond the now, and it can be frightening.
My thoughts are with you today.
Maebee
maebee1@comcast.net
"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers; for thereby some have entertained angels unaware."Heb 13:2
Jim,
I am so sorry to hear that Jeanne is ill. Have they taken a chest x-ray to check for pneumonia? Not being nosy, just didn't hear it from you.
It is sad that, no matter how hard we try not to, something or someone forces us to take a glimpse beyond today, beyond the now, and it can be frightening.
My thoughts are with you today.
Maebee
maebee1@comcast.net
"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers; for thereby some have entertained angels unaware."Heb 13:2
Jim I am so very sad and worried. Your post is so frantic and I am just beside myself hoping and praying that Jeanie will move through this and be as she was.
You are never alone. We may have our differences of opinion and different ways of expressing ourselves but we are like family and when you are afraid and hurting we are right with you kiddo. Stay strong and know that she is on our prayers.
Jim,
I was worried this morning when you hadn't given an update on Jeanne yesturday. I hope and pray that she is improving. I know you are by her side at all times, and that she feels your love and strength. Please take care of yourself...we are all here for you.
And Karen Dear,
My heart goes out to you as well...God Bless you and all that you are going through. Please keep us updated also.
Keeping you and Jeanne in my thoughts and prayers and also Karen.
Blessings.
Patricia
"Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely" --The Land Before Time
"Friends are like stars... you don't always see them, but you know they're always there." -- Hulali Luta
The first thing I did this morning was scan the new posts hoping to find one from you Jim. I sure hope things are better.
Posted January 20, 2007 07:44 AM Hide Post
Jim, we really are concerned about your dear Jeanne and hope she is improving a little.
Blessings.
Patricia
"Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely" --The Land Before Time
"Friends are like stars... you don't always see them, but you know they're always there." -- Hulali Luta
"Into the Mist when someone you love has Alzheimer's Disease" http://www.intothemist.us
Dear Jim,
I am so very sorry to hear that Jeanne has passed away. I was truly hoping that Jeanne would pull through for you. Please except my deepest sympathy and extend my sympathy to your family as well.
Dear Jim,
I to am sincerely sorry to hear your dear Jeanne has passed away and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Blessings
Dear Jim and Broade Family: I extend my heartfelt condolences to you all. This is such a very overwhelming thing to have happened.
We all know how much you love your Jeanne, and understand how devasting this is to you.
Please know, we are with you in spirit and prayer. Your many writings of Jeanne have certainly been a fine and ongoing tribute to her and the life you shared together.
In peace
Jim,
I have looked for a post which says Jeanie has passed. I so hope it isn't the case. If it is so my heart just breaks for you. You and Jeanie have been such a love story and as you always say she will be with you always. Please accept my condolences.
Deb
May I respectfully suggest that this link, originally posted by Poppy and then James is read to clear up any misunderstandings and give Jim and his family the respect they deserve at this very sad time in their lives.
Jeanne
Blessings.
Patricia
Posted January 21, 2007 08:27 AM Hide Post
I was so hoping it wasn't true.
My heart goes out to you.... it has been 6 weeks since mom went home and how well I can relate to all that happens afterwards. So difficult. Missing her every moment.
You and I disagree on just about everything, Jim. Just about. Except this- rarely does a man love a woman like you loved your Jeanne. Your rich love and deep devotion were awe-inspiring. You will have no regrets at this sad time, for you always did all you could, and more.
May God bless you with peace. sending you gentle (((hugs)))
Bonnie
bonniejeans@satx.rr.com
“Every time you forget that character is one of God’s purposes for your life, you will become frustrated by your circumstances.” — Rick Warren
Mum, Thank you for sharing the link. I know I join others in saying it feels as if we have known Jeanie and feel a loss. Be strong Jim.
Posted January 21, 2007 08:37 AM Hide Post
Why is it that we all know the end result of this progressive, horrible disease but when it happens it knocks all the wind out of our sails?
Jim - my deepest sincere condolences are extended to you in this most difficult time. I pray you find comfort in knowing you were a wonderful caregiver to Jeanne and in knowing that she remains with you, albeit in a different way.
Posted January 19, 2007 02:59 PM Hide Post
Pushing this to the jqpr
Isn't it sad Jim that you treat them as you do.
http://alzheimers.infopop.cc/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/214102241/m/8761090491?r=8761090491#8761090491
Go Jim read them yourself! I am sure Rosie and Cherie sent you ones in private, yet for the ONLY ones you seem NOT to BASH aren't there. You should be ashamed of what you are now doing. With so many people coming to YOU in YOUR TIME OF NEED
Yes you and dear rosie keep bringing your blog to the top so others can see what the "real" Jim is about The "lover" the Happy happy joy joy is about
Hey, Beyond and Anonymous, who's bashing? I'm not bashing anyone here. I'm just saying that some care-givers are in worse shape than their patients. And that it's sad, sad, sad. Reason to lament, I suppose. Also, reason to try to fix the problem. That's why I've advocated that overworked and over-stressed and out-of-sorts care-givers look for a fix. Often, it's placement of the patient in assisted living or a nursing home. Because if care-givers continue in their beleaguered situations, they are likely to do harm, to themselves and to their patients. I suggest it isn't heroic to run one's self into the ground. It's better to get the necessary respite, and often that's for the good of the care-giver and the patient. For instance, when one is suicidal and still trying to be a care-giver 24/7, that ain't a good situation. I'm not bashing these people. I'm just saying, do something about. Change your situation. For everyone's sake. That's the responsible thing to do. I'm not compelling anyone to do it. I'm suggesting it. A take it or leave it proposition. I'm suggesting, wake up folks. And find ways to become better care-givers. Find ways to fix your problems.
And anyway, in almost 4 years on the Alzheimer's message boards I've made over 6,000 posts. Many, many of them showing empathy and compassion for care-givers. But I've often suggested that it's better to fix a problem than to let it linger. Too many care-givers have a defeatist attitude. They need to start thinking more positively. They've got to learn to survive. To get out of their doldrums. They've got to learn to make adjustments. Too many of them feel too sorry for themselves. Yes, it's all right to feel sorry. But at some point, one has got to fix the problem and become a better care-giver, despite all the obstacles.
Hey, in 13 years as a care-giver. I had ups and downs. Bad times. very bad times.
But finally, I learned to count my blessings. And to live in the moment. And not every moment was bliss. But overall, life is wonderful. I'm 71, and happy that I've lived. And that I'm still living. And that I still have Jeanne's spirit. Forever and ever. One can survive the Alzheimer's experience. One can deal with it. That's what I'm saying. And when one fails to deal with it -- well, that's sad, sad, sad. That's not a bash. It's just telling it like it is. Sad. Sad. Sad. I've been sad, too. But I found my way to happiness. And the rest of you can do it, too. --Jim
You are right Jim, I used the wrong word. Bash wasn't the word I should of used. I should of said
Go Jim read them yourself! I am sure Rosie and Cherie sent you ones in private, yet for the ONLY ones you seem NOT to say things that maybe hurtful.All caring posts. You should be ashamed of what you are now doing. With so many people coming to YOU in YOUR TIME OF NEED All coming from the same people you claim
Your Quotes:
...a very unhappy woman.
I know of a woman. She's an interesting study. A sick woman, I think.
I don't whine.
Not everyone likes me. Especially the whiners. On the Alzheimer's message boards
Unhappy people don’t feel good about themselves, or about others. Don’t feel good about their lives. And that shows on the Alzheimer’s message boards. Care-givers of dementia patients often are in despair. And they feel sorry for themselves. And some of ‘em take it out on each other, and even on their patients. They become abusive.
I don't know if we are speaking the same language, Meg. Yes, you are a nuisance. Sort of a thorn in my side. Rather than a pain in my ass. In other words, you insist on reposting posts that I delete. That's a nuisance, an inconvenience for me, and a clever move on your part. Forces me to take an alternative route. Which allows me to screen all posts before they are formally posted. But it ain't the end of the world. It's still a manageable situation. As you've gathered, I want control over my blog. Isn't that a fair goal? If I don't take control, it could get out of hand. I initially thought I could let everyone have free rein. Complete freedom of speech. I was being naive. I learned that would be impractical. We'd have a circus. An out-of-control situation. One dictated by outsiders. I'll still allow dissent and criticism of me and my 'broodings' -- that is if it's done in a polite and courteous manner. More or less like the way I'd do it, when addressing you. I think I'm reasonably polite and courteous. I like respectful exchanges. Not nasty and mean and snide ones. Which was happening in the comments section of the blog.
Where have you said 1 nice thing about anyone but rosie and cherie from the Alz site?
Oh, come now, Beyond. Just scroll the message boards at random. I've said nice things 99 percent of the time. At least. Even some of the things you claim aren't nice are really nice. You just choose to give them negative twists. Heck, you folks have said more bad things about me than I ever dreamed of saying about you folks. And you know it. And hey, I truly appreciate all the nice things you folks said when Jeanne died. That was very comforting. Makes up for all the nasty and snide remarks before and after that. Really, I've been pretty tolerant of you folks. I've turned the other cheek many times. You folks have dished it out plenty of times. It's good for you to get an occasional taste of your own medicine. I've let you folks get away with a whole lot of disrespect and intolerance. So, what's wrong with me dishing it out a little bit?
Jim Jim, 99% are nice things said by you? Hmmmmm funny those must be the ones that got deleted by the admin?
Btw, how about that family life you said would be up an coming headlines. Or haven't we waited long enough.
Another question you might be able to answer. I just looked at my blogs. No one else shows the counter... Why is it so important to you?
Jim---I’m disappointed and concerned for Beyond...Her comments were not up to their usual form....So disjointed, disorganized, with duplications and incomplete sentences. The phrase “time of need” was a strange one...Were you “in need” of anything that a mere human could supply?
It is obvious that Beyond was absent from the forums during that period or she would have known that there was a thread that even questioned the existence of you or Jeanne. That (probably deleted) thread resulted in the announcement of Jeanne’s passing and usurped your right to make it.
There were several threads of condolences on our forum as well as a prayer thread on another forum. While I do not know whether I posted on any of them, I know that I rarely do. My thoughts about death are unconventional. I’m concerned that in voicing my sympathy, I will hurt the feelings of those that I wish to comfort.
All I can say to Beyond and other folks who'd like to take me to task is that I've had over 4,200 undeleted posts on the Alzheimer's message boards since Jan. 25, 2005; and about 2,000 additional undeleted posts prior to that, starting in November 2003. And I assume they all met guidelines established by the Alzheimer's Association. And I'd describe virtually all of 'em as positive and constructive and upbeat posts, many of which are laudatory of fellow care-givers. They are there for the reading, I guess. Read 'em and form your own opinions. And if you feel any inappropriate posts remain, I'd suggest you contact the message boards administrators and have them deleted. And if they aren't deleted -- well, then give me credit for adhering to the guidelines. I think that's fair, isn't it?
For your information, I rarely have a deleted post. Unless it's an entire thread that has been deleted, often because of nasty and snide replies directed at me. So the administrators on occasion decided to delete the entire thread because it's been more or less polluted by comments very similar to asinine ones that some of you, particularly anonymous contributors, have been posting in this blog. Little wonder that you don't dare sign your names. --Jim Broede
Someone asked, why the counter on this blog? Well, because I think it's a nice feature. Lets me know how many people are visiting the site. And the counter doesn't count me, doesn't count my visits. It's comforting to know that lots of people are plugging in. I'm hoping that over a period of time, that you negative thinkers stay away. I'm looking for positive input. Not snide and nasty remarks. If you don't like the blog, go elsewhere, and find one you like. But hey, I do welcome criticism and dissenting views. Only try to keep it respectful. Some of you sound like guttersnips, not very refined ladies. I'm a gentleman, you know. I like ladies. But not guttersnips. --Jim Broede
By the way, looks like we've had about 1,700 hits so far. And we've been up and operating less than 2 weeks. --Jim Broede
I don't know who beyond is but the posts she has put here (and so many other loving posts from when you cat died which are not on here) illustrate just how unfair your bashing of the Alz. care givers has been.
Yes you have posted thousands of times and aside from the standard "I like how you think" the others end up removed by the monitor.
I hope you take the time to really take in all that Beyond has posted.
Nearly every signature on your wife's legacy book was from someone you are bashing.
We were so sad for you and worried about how you would go on without her but I guess you have bounced back by feeding your anger and ego.
The clicker doesn't measure interest in your blog. It measures the number of times people have checked to be sure they are not in your crosshairs.
You wonder why we stay anonymous? Really? After the job you did on Debbie (totally out of the blue, pulling up some old correspondence from Jan. 2006) who would come here and give you their name??????
You were scared,worried, you cried. Were you whining or just being a man in love with a woman he was losing? Think about it Jim before you run off another entry.
It's right here in black and white. Just read it and think about what she has written.
Jim,
Since you have captured the attention of so many people and you have had 70 plus years of life experiences why not share some of those experiences? Why not write about the beauty around in Mn. How about writing about the changes you have seen over time, how techology has changed the world.
You had so many ideas about dementia and how to communicate effectively. I'm sure you could write an interesting book for care givers and it would be darned good if you could just let go of your anger and let yourself be gentle.
I would be so interested in reading about pleasant things instead your opinions of where others are screwing up. They are doing the best they can just as you did. Write something that gives people insight into the beauty of the world but try doing it without comparing your way to the failure you percieve in others.
You have the talent and the heart. Just go for it.
One of you anonymous folks writes, "Write something that gives people insight into the beauty of the world."
Well, folks, that's what I write about all the time. I reflect on how nice it's to be an alive and conscious being. To be in love with life. And sometimes I wonder why there are so many unhappy people in the world. Angry people. Negative thinkers. I reflect on the goodness of life. And I encourage people to be happy. Even in the midst of hard times. Bad times. The worst of times. And that annoys some chronically unhappy people. I sense that they love to be in misery. To be in hell, so to speak. They want me to be angry and unhappy. Just like them. They can't stand happiness. And when they see it, they attack it. As if it's the enemy. A strange lot, they. When I tell 'em I'm a romantic idealist, a free-thinker, a liberal and a lover, they're aghast. They seem to think, in some instances, that's sinful. But that's the way I choose to live. Because it makes me genuinely happy. Makes me feel blessed. And in love. Yes, that's what I have learned in 71 years of life. That I'm blessed. And I thank god for it. --Jim Broede
Some of you anonymous posters say I'm "bashing" Alzheimer care-givers.
Now that's really stretching the word bashing. Really, I'm feeling empathy for 'em. I'm trying to be compassionate and helpful. Trying to get them out of their doldrums and into treatment. The ones that are overworked, over-stressed. In depression. Even suicidal. They need help before they harm themselves and their patients. Face it, folks, some of you are unsuited for care-giving. At least at the moment. You've got to learn to recognize it. And change your ways or your situation. It's not impossible, you know. I'm the kind and compassionate one by telling it the way it is. And the fact that some of you don't do anything about it -- well, that's sad, sad, sad. That's the whole premise of this thread. --Jim Broede
We've got to find help for people in need, folks. Let's take a hypothetical situation. Let's say that you had a close friend that talked about suicide. A whole lot. Many times, let's say, for a period of 20 years. Even tells you how he/she will do it. And then he/she tries to take his/herlife. And it's unsuccessful. But then he/she tells you he/she will try it again. And next time, it's successful. Could that suicide have been prevented? Yes, I think so. With proper intervention. With proper treatment. With proper care. If only we recognized in time that this person wasn't kidding. And we got him/her the right kind of help. That's how we make happy endings. Instead of sad ones. --Jim Broede
Let's try a hypothetical. Suppose there was an elderly man who was still so fixated on his father's suicide that he throws the suicide topic into nearly every entry.
Suppose further that despite posts I have read here which clearly explain that the person he most loves to target did not have a loved one who tried once, failed and tried again... he continues to stick with His version of her life.
Imagine if you will that this person portrays himself as helping lift the spirts of those who are upset by going to his blog and saying their loved ones should be protected from them.
Imagine he can read reams of posts which offered support when he was in an emotional crisis and all he sees is the "clicker".
Just imagine. It's only fictional of course.
What would drive such a person? Simple. The "clicker". Better to have 1700 people thinking ill of him than make a friend with his writing. 1700 minus two. (Rosie and scarycherie.)
Bunny
My answer, anonymous bunny, is that I'd rather be me than this hypothetical man. In other words, a romantic idealist, a free-thinker, a liberal and a lover. That's a very nice combination. Makes for a happy man. --Jim Broede
By the way folks, when one has friends as rock solid as Rosie and Cherie -- well, I find that more than sufficient. My cup runneth over. I've always been a quality guy, not a quantity guy when it comes to friendship. I don't spread myself too thin. --Jim Broede
I'm also for quality when it comes to love. I like the concept of unconditionl love. I think I achieved it. Once. With Jeanne. And that makes the love last forever. I think that may be my greatest achievement. That, more than anything, has made my life worthwhile. A success. It's virtually the same as communion with god. I have had communion with a goddess. --Jim Broede
Please don't feel any concern for me. Had you read my post it was things cut n pasted from forum. As for the "time of need" Sometimes the reality of life seems just too hard to bear. Loss, death, divorce, tragedies of all kinds touch our lives in ways that we never expect. God is there to comfort, to cradle, to love us through our time of need. Simply that those who did post to Jim knew how much he loved his jeanne.
Also It is obvious I have been around forum a long time. I even have a emailed from the admin. to please put jim on ignore "the contentious argument that ensued are inappropriate for this community. If you disagree with someone, please ignore their posts." I also seen the lovely pictures, cats, jeanne in wheelchair in snow, matching band with jeanne's blanket.
You also stated: I’m concerned that in voicing my sympathy, I will hurt the feelings of those that I wish to comfort.
This confuses me, if jim is a friend how does voicing your sympathy hurt a friend. I see it didn't stop you expressing it on August 14, 2006.
I guess the saying i once hear is true. Sympathy is "A word in the dictionary which falls alphabetically between the words shit and syphillis"
Beyond—I did read your post and was aware that it was a cut a paste job. The duplication of Maebee’s post was one of the things that worried me. Glad to see you getting back to form...Twisting words to attempt to score points...or...You must be easily confused. My statement was that I rarely post on condolence threads and not that I never did.
Posting on the particular thread that you selected is something that I would have never done. The condolences on that thread were a result of the tasteless thread that questioned the existence of both Jim and Jeanne. In case you have not already checked, you will find that I did not sign the cyber guest book...I opted...instead... to share my thoughts, and condolences elsewhere and using various forms of communication.
Getting an e-mail from the administration about the ignore button is not a sign of being a long time forum member...The ignore feature was initiated in 10/2006. Your screen name shows that you joined in 04/2006. Your comment indicates that even you cannot resist looking at pretty pictures.
As I said before...Caregiving is time consuming. Sometimes there is just not enough time to post...Not even on Jim’s condolence thread. Your post count is currently sitting at 18 (I think all are dated after Jim announced his blog) and consists of mostly 1 liners in which you shared nothing. Yes, I still hold the opinion that you are either a coward or a shadow person.
With such a bland posting record...What could you have said on the forums that was worthy of a reprimand?
Sweet lil cherie, you don't know me, who i am, what i am, nor what i do. I am well aware of the ignore, and surprise, my email was the same time i joined forum!!! I read, or lurk as some call it. I learned of the forum from a client that was upset with something on the forums. So i watched, and learned. I can go back to all the posts from Jim begging someone to contact him. That was long before i registered to be able to post.
The post i cut n pasted from was jim being human, showing emotions. All i seen was caring people. It was started with jeanne getting sick. I really don't have the time or the need to look at a guest book. I already said "i am sure rosie and cherie sent you one in private" Was that twisted??
Getting an e-mail from the administration was to delete the thread. It was titled "seems to me i have it right" Can you guess who started it??
No i don't post offen on the Alz. site. you are 100% right, congrats. Again you know nothing about me. Even if i post one liners, I haven't repeated myself over and over and over.
Now you have a nice day, I know i will.
Hey Jim,
You better watch this skericheri. He/she may usurp your control over tackiness!
Talk about judgemental!! Counting posts?? Evaluating the contents?? "bland posts"?? You seem as hung up on numbers as Jim himself! Hmmmm....makes one wonder....
skericheri seems to have a very mean streak, too.
Honey, you have too much time on your hands!
I think one point Beyond made was that, members who tangled with Jim the most, who he insulted and riled the most, were quick to offer their support and sympathy yes, in HIS TIME OF NEED! I really do not understand why that phrase confused you so. If I remember correctly, Jim NEVER even acknowledged the support.
I also do not remember that post of Jeanne's passing resulting from the one you suggest.
At least the person who brought the info to light, created a few days, possibly even weeks of considerate posting toward Jim. I would have thanked that poster for correcting a grievous error. Usurping rights?? What is this claim to ownership that you, Jim, and rosie seem to spurt every once in awhile??
Broede's Broodings said...
By the way, looks like we've had about 1,700 hits so far. And we've been up and operating less than 2 weeks. --Jim Broede
August 18, 2007 11:08 PM
I don't know who "we" is but, is the success of a blog based on the number of "hits" you seem to write about so much??
For anyone's information: If you check this blog more than once a day, you can minimize the window, so you don't give the clicker an extra click, every time you check back. Just refresh the window.
Anonymous said...
I don't know who "we" is but, is the success of a blog based on the number of "hits" you seem to write about so much??
...or, is it just that someone-anyone-looks in?
It reminds me of the inaccuracy of basing a new movie's success on the box office receipts of the day that it opens. It should be based on the length of the run, and the people who may have paid more than once to see it.
I think success of anything is based on a gut feel. That's how I gauge things. On a gut feel. Deep down. In my heart. My soul. My total being. And I also consult with god. And with the spirits. With Jeanne's spirit. You know, I have conversations with god. I find that being a more practical alternative to praying. I like a give and take with god. A real dialogue. The same goes with my friends. And people in general. When there's genuine dialogue, we come to terms. To understanding. To empathy. We learn to like each other. Or at least tolerate and accept each other. Despite our differences. We become polite and courteous. It's really a pleasurable and rewarding experience. --Jim Broede
Well lil sweet cherie, i had a little time today and i found something its dated August 7 2006. Months before jeanne died. The pictures. On Aug 22 rosie brought it to the top for jeanne's birthday. Then Musing did on Jan 21. It wasn't even the thread I was referring to earlier. Another thread with over 50 replies when jeanne died.
Another human posting by none other than Mr B himself: I guess I’m like everybody else. Capable of happiness. And sadness. And a little bit of everything. I’m alive. But I’m missing something. Jeanne. I’ve lost Jeanne’s physical presence. I can no longer sit down in front of Jeanne. And see Jeanne. Physically see. I can’t physically touch Jeanne. I have to pretend. Or I have to go a step beyond, and believe. That Jeanne is still present. Here. For me to touch. It’s a little like god. Conversing with god. Maybe I have to think of Jeanne as a goddess. A spirit. An eternal presence. Oh, it’s a romantic notion. My belief in god is a romantic notion. I really don’t know what god is. I can’t define god. But I can define Jeanne. I’ve seen Jeanne. I’ve lived with Jeanne for almost 40 years. I’ve touched Jeanne. Loved Jeanne. Still do. Maybe Jeanne is my connection to god. Jeanne brings me to the edge of a spirit world. To the mystical. In so many ways, Alzheimer’s brought me to the spirit world. Forced me to find new ways to communicate. New ways to love. Crazy ways. New ways to believe. New routes to happiness. To joy. Oh, Jeanne taught me so much during her 13 years of coping with dementia. Profound lessons The notion of acceptance. Of unconditional love. That life is wonderful. Even in the worst of times. --Jim
God is good. That’s the message that kept coming through when I walked tonight. I don’t know if it was Jeanne talking to me. Or god himself. From the spirit world. Somebody was trying to console me. To tell me that I had been granted the three extra, meaningful years with Jeanne. The years at Birchwood. When Jeanne got better. No longer agitated or belligerent. And for that I should be grateful. It gave me time. Time to nurture my love for Jeanne. Joyful time. Happy time. Despite the disease. Despite Alzheimer’s. And for me to lament that Jeanne has finally been taken from me – well, I think god or someone is trying to tell me maybe that’s being a bit ungrateful. Of course, I want forever. And maybe I still have forever, if only I understand the meaning of forever. I have Jeanne’s spirit. Within. And maybe some day there will be a reunion. Maybe there’s been a reunion already. An actual presence. And I’m too blind to see. Because I’m locked in a physical world. When I don’t have to be. When I have the ability to soar. To extend my spirit. Good gawd, I don’t know. I don’t know what to make of it. Other than that maybe I’ve had a conversation. With Jeanne. With god. With a spirit. --Jim
btw there was nice replies to those post too. Even from those jim now writes about in his blogs. So yes sweet little cherie i do my homework
Broede's Broodings said...
By the way folks, when one has friends as rock solid as Rosie and Cherie -- well, I find that more than sufficient. My cup runneth over. I've always been a quality guy, not a quantity guy when it comes to friendship. I don't spread myself too thin. --Jim Broede
August 19, 2007 11:00 AM
You have no friends remember look thru your posts. You had 2 true friends .... wtf you can't remember wtf you say??
I think success of anything is based on a gut feel. That's how I gauge things. On a gut feel.
This do to lack of brains?
Anonymous/Posting as a Bunny
Here are my thoughts on your comment:
There is a man whose father committed suicide. I think that he has the right to state his feelings concerning some of the positive aspects of his father’s suicide? No one seems to mind when others discuss the same topic and focus on the negative aspects. Truth of the matter is that most events are neither entirely positive nor entirely negative unless a spin is put on them.
As far as the clear explanations are concerned...Both parties appear to have offered them. It’s a free country. Everyone has a right to form an opinion as to which party is telling the truth. The obvious fact is that if the truth is ever known...some of us are going to be disappointed.
If someone comes to this blog and gets unduly upset, perhaps they should vote with their mouse and never return. As far as I am concerned, Jim is offering caregivers the benefit of his experience. Finding peace through acceptance and if that fails (or if conditions deteriorate) the option of looking at placement as something other than a personal defeat.
I won’t pretend to know what Jim thought when he read the “reams of posts which offered support when he was in an emotional crisis” back in January...If I were Jim...I would have felt cheated when he was robbed of making the announcement....I might have either questioned the sincerity of some posts or come to the conclusion that other individuals found him unacceptable unless they felt he has feeling sad.
Anoymous writes, "You have no friends remember look thru your posts. You had 2 true friends .... wtf you can't remember wtf you say??"
Well, anonymous, I'm happy to announce that things are looking up. I'm expanding my friendship roster. I think I've got two new ones to add to the list. Rosie and Cherie. They are like godsends. Showed up just like that. In time of need. Seems I always have a friend or two in time of need. Yes, and that's all I need. One or two quality friends. I find that sufficient. Quality over quantity. Oh, yes, and I also have god as a friend. And the two friends that have died -- well, they're still with me. In spirit. Yes, I've got some pretty classy friends. My handful of friends are worth more than a million acquaintances. --Jim Broede
Anonymous picks up one of my quotes and then poses a question: 'I think success of anything is based on a gut feel. That's how I gauge things. On a gut feel.'
This do (sic) to lack of brains?
Well, for beginners. Anonymous may not have been the smartest kid in his/her spelling or English class at school. She/he uses the word "do" when really the smart kids in class would have used "due."
And when I refer to "gut feel," I'm talking of my total being. My mind, my emotions, my soul -- yes, my gut. The total me. D. H. Lawrence called it thinking with one's blood. It takes more than the mind to think. To be one'e self. It takes the total spirit of one's being. The gut, so to speak. --Jim Broede
http://deutschegerman.blogspot.com/
lol no more blog from chris????
And you also deleted it from yours
How interesting She claimed to be a "good" friend too
Amazing twist Jim
skericheri said...
I won’t pretend to know what Jim thought when he read the “reams of posts which offered support when he was in an emotional crisis” back in January...If I were Jim...I would have felt cheated when he was robbed of making the announcement....I might have either questioned the sincerity of some posts or come to the conclusion that other individuals found him unacceptable unless they felt he has feeling sad.
August 21, 2007 12:20 AM
You and rosie seem so hung up on this notion, that Jim was somwhow usurped in the announcing of the death of his wife!! He was "robbed of making the announcement"??? Like it was some grand accomplishment??? Why can't the 2 of you put a positive spin on it?? I really do not believe this was done maliciously, and yet, the two of you just cannot let it go?!?!
AND now, the opinion you give of the heartfelt expressions of sympathy! I certainly hope Jim does not think like you do!
Broede's Broodings said...
..I'm happy to announce that things are looking up. I'm expanding my friendship roster. I think I've got two new ones to add to the list. Rosie and Cherie. They are like godsends. Showed up just like that. In time of need. Seems I always have a friend or two in time of need.
It seems like you do have conditions on your friendships. One being to agree with you at all times, and to attack those who disagree with comments you have made. As I see it, you had quite a few Friends, at least on those few days after Jeanne passed. I do hope you do not have the same feelings as cherie on that.
BTW, I did not know that we are now in grammar school?? Perhaps you should have a "spell check" function, for those of us who inadvertently make mistakes, just so you don't insult about that???
I think this blog may be too conditional for me.
Maebee
I'm very selective of my friends, Maebee. They're special people. I trust them. And they trust me. And we're able to talk about anything. No subject is taboo. And if it's a true friend, we accept each other unconditionally. That's a pretty difficult thing to do. I think you'd find that impossible, Maebee. Like I say, Rosie and Cherie are special. Godsends. I don't want you to be jealous, Maebee. But I rather think they have what it takes to be friends, and not mere acquaintances. So far, it's looking pretty good. --Jim Broede
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