Louise complained on the Alzheimer's message boards yesterday that some Alzheimer care-givers are in denial. They don't always do what's practical. They're stubborn. And Louise said this has her puzzled.
And I told Louise I suspect we're all in denial over something or other. You, me, everybody. Because that's the way we choose to cope with life. Some may call it being stubborn. But hey, we're just creating our own realities. Our own perceptions of what's happening to us and around us. It's paramount that I be relatively happy. That's the only way I can live. I have to be pursuing happiness. But some other folks -- well, they just choose to be unhappy. Sort of a compulsion. On any given day, I can sit down and make two lists -- reasons to be happy, and reasons to be unhappy. Then it's my choice. Which list do I want to focus on today? Invariably, I concentrate on the reasons to be happy. Maybe some people will accuse me of being in denial. Because they think I should be unhappy. That if I lived in the "real" world I'd be discouraged and depressed. --Jim Broede
P.S. By the way, I don't mean to say or infer that Louise is unhappy. On the contrary, my impression is that she's a happy and positive being. She, like me, just thinks that care-givers should exude good vibes. Should reflect a happy face in the presence of their patients. I find that meritorious. Others, unfortunately, have taken me to task for being too happy, too Pollyannish.
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Hey Jim, it's Louise. I find your attitude very much like mine, always finding and dwelling on the positive. I just wanted to let you know that I am not upset that my GPs are in denial, rather that their denial is causing improper care. To quote you in I believe your Sept 16 post "I think it’s a crime to allow overworked, over-stressed and depressed care-givers to remain on the job" This is where my GPs are right now, when I am with them I am sunshine and happiness, as are they, but their feelings of contentment fade quickly. I feel you've flipped my true concern by saying "they think I should be unhappy". I want nothing more for them than to capture your attitude of turning lemons into lemonade, I believe that would make all the difference in the world to them and GMs care, and I tell them constantly to look on the bright side. If your perception of me is that I am complaining and hoping for my LOs to be unhappy, I apologize for the way you chose to see my concerns. I have found that until you accept a problem for what it is, it will not get better, and there is no bright side to be found. If I am complaining, it is that my GPs may never see the bright side as you do.
I like your positive thinking, Louise. You have a good impact on your grandparents when you are around. Because you exude good vibes. They need somebody like you around them more or less fulltime. Just to keep reminding and encouraging them to be upbeat. Yes, you are my idea of an ideal care-giver -- if only you were able to be at it fulltime. You and I operate on similar wavelengths. --Jim
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