Yes, it takes time. Your time, dear care-givers.

A woman on the Alzheimer's message boards posted a thread today titled, "Mom is so bored." Just sits in front of the TV set. And remains mentally lethargic. And the woman wondered what she could do about it. Here's what I said:

You have to use a lot of ingenuity with mom. To arouse her interests in this and that. I find with patients at the Birchwood nursing home, that's possible with just about everyone. If you focus on them. Face to face. One on one. That's the sort of stimulation they need. Don't leave them alone. Accompany them. Take them by the hand. Go for a walk. Participate in their activity. Keep stimulating them. It takes time. Your time. But that's exactly what they need. Your time. They aren't gonna stimulate themselves. You've gotta do it. They need constant attention. With large doses of stimulation, their minds and bodies can stay in relatively good shape for a while. The point is, we don't take the time to give 'em proper stimulation. Proper care. And watching TV isn't stimulation. It's boring. Sleep-inducing. Little wonder that mom is bored. Turn off the TV. And get mom up and about. Stimulated. You'll be stimulating yourself at the same time. Making life interesting. For both you and mom. It can be done. I did it with Jeanne. But it took 8-10 hours daily. Every day. It takes good vibes. It's a full-time job. But oh, so much pleasure, if the time is spent with a loved one. That's what proper care-giving is all about. And if we don't take the time for it -- well, it just won't get done. In an ideal world, all dementia patients would have full-time care-giving. They wouldn't be warehoused and left to be bored to death. They'd be stimulated. But granted, it ain't an ideal world. Maybe because we don't have time to create one. When I started to take the time, it worked. But I had to retire to do it. So that I'd have the time. I chose to make the time. And it was the right decision. For Jeanne. For me. If you can't do that -- well, then you can't. Like I say, it ain't an ideal world. But that doesn't stop me from trying to make the best of it. Makes me feel reasonably happy, and reasonably fulfilled. This isn't meant as criticism of you or anyone else. I'm just trying to tell it the way it is. And each one of us has to try to do the best we can under our particular circumstances. --Jim