You have nothing to lose.

Lots of grieving folks come to the Alzheimer's message boards. Today it was the turn of someone called Kansas. I'm presuming it's a woman. Sounds like one.

"I lost my dad in April after 6 long years of Alzheimer's," she said. "I can't seem to get past the disease when I think of him. I still picture him in the nursing home and struggling with the final stages of the disease. How long does it take to get past that, and start remembering the good times? I can't seem to get past the sad part."

Anyway, I told Kansas I lost my dear Jeanne -- the love of my life -- last January. Well, I did. And I didn't. I still have Jeanne's spirit. And I commune with that spirit almost daily. And I feel blessed. That I had Jeanne physically present with me on a daily basis for almost 40 years. And now I stay active. Mentally. Physically. And I write every day. My thoughts. My reflections. I guess I'm still in love. With Jeanne's spirit. With life. I think life is wonderful. I'm 72. I've been mostly happy. Maybe 98 or 99 percent of the time. So, when I'm sad, I just tell myself, it ain't gonna last. Because I can't stand being sad and unhappy for any sustained period of time. I have to find my way to happiness. And often, all it takes is for me to commune with Jeanne's spirit. Maybe you can do that with your dad, Kansas. It's worth a try. You have nothing to lose. --Jim Broede