And one doesn't even have to become a martyr.

Maybe it happens to lots of care-givers. They question their suitability for caring and foregoing other important things in their lives. A woman on the Alzheimer's message boards posted the question: How does one do it without becoming a martyr? She felt overwhelmed, and incapable of caring for her mother.

I was impressed by the woman's honesty. In admitting that she couldn't do it. Better to admit it, and look for acceptable alternatives, than to pursue the role of unhappy and resentful caregiver.

I suspected initially that I wouldn’t like being a care-giver. But fortunately, I found it to be a very fulfilling and rewarding endeavor. I even surprised myself. Maybe because I was in love with the patient, my dear Jeanne. Of course, it helped that I was retired. That afforded me the opportunity to make time for it. I wasn't able to handle 24/7 adequately. But 8-10 hours a day -- well, that was a picnic. Because I got daily respite. Gave me time for other things. Such as writing. Reading books. Posting on the Alzheimer's message boards. Gardening. Swimming. Walking. Oh, so many, many activities. Life was still wonderful.

Also, I kept learning. All the time. About Alzheimer’s. And how to cope with it. And I met wonderful people. At Birchwood, the nursing home, where Jeanne resided for 38 months.

Oh, I was far busier in retirement and in my daily care-giving pursuits than when I was “working.” But I felt blessed and happy. I enjoyed what I was doing. Yes, it goes to show that life can be so very good...despite Alzheimer’s. And one doesn't even have to become a martyr. --Jim Broede