On the Alzheimer's message boards today, a woman named Peachy commented: "Yes, you do have free expression of speech to post whatever you want on YOUR blog. So, why copy and paste stuff from this (Alzheimer's message) board? If you are so intelligent, then you would not need to get stuff off this board and make fun of people who are truly hurting and trying to do the best they can with the cards they have been dealt."
Well, Peachy, you seem to be making the assumption that all of the care-givers posting on the Alzheimer's message boards are doing the best they can. I don't buy into that premise. Some of 'em could be doing a lot better. And that would certainly benefit their patients. That's why I keep raising the issue. In my opinion, some care-givers do harm to their patients. And that's gotta be fixed. And one way we start to get around to a fix is by talking about it. Doesn't do any good to pretend that everybody is doing their best. --Jim Broede
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11 comments:
Who are you to be the judge and jury of these vunerable people.
Did you know that any post you make here or on a message board can be traced to your computer, even if you post under more than one name?
Well, it certainly hasn't done any good either, you "raising the issue", now, has it?? Just what exactly have YOU accomplished, except to upset a few people. Oh, maybe that was your goal?
By the way, it would probably be so much more productive, if you address those people you think are doing such a bad job. If they are as you say, they are not recognizing themselves in your writing. Talking about it is one thing, but I think you are talking to the wrong people.
Let's see, your condemnations have been going on for more than 3 years. Not much success, huh?
Anonymous #1:
First off, the really vulnerable people are the patients of inept care-givers. The patients become their victims. We've got to get care-givers to recognize when they are doing more harm than good. And one of the best ways of doing that is to discuss the issue. Maybe care-givers should be licensed. Maybe they should have to take classes. And pass tests. I don't know. It's just one thought, one idea, for improving the situation. Yes, let's face it. There are care-givers out there pretending to be doing their best. And sometimes, that ain't good enough. I'm trying to get care-givers to think about it. And then maybe decide for themselves whether they are fit or unfit care-givers. Let them decide for themselves. I just don't accept the premise that every Alzheimer care-giver that's out there is a fit care-giver. Most of 'em, I suspect, are fit and doing decently. But some -- well, they should leave the care-giving up to others. More capable care-givers. --Jim Broede
Anonymous #2:
Yes, I know that all posts can be traced to the cumputer of origin. And I've been encouraging the administrators at the Alzheimer's Association to use that technology. To determine once and for all if one person may be posting under several names, all from the same computer. And if they want to, they can start with me. Because I don't post anywhere with anything other than my real name, Jim Broede. I'm proud of my name. And I'm proud to be me. I have no reason to use a pseudonym, like most of you. I do suspect that some members of the Ladies Aid Society operate under multiple pseudonyms. And that's why I'm encouraging the administrators of the message boards to check. That might be embarrassing for the ladies. But what the heck. So be it. --Jim Broede
Anonymous #3:
I have accomplished something. I've succeeded in getting some folks to think about the issue of inept care-givers. That's always a good start. Let's call attention to the problem. Let's make more people aware of it. Face it, folks, not every Alzheimer care-giver out there is qualified to be a care-giver. There are some pretty bad ones out there. It's time for us to stop pretending that it isn't a problem. It's a big, big problem, unfortunately. And I'm proud to call attention to it. In my own way. --Jim Broede
Folks:
I think the people most upset about me calling attention to inept care-givers are most likely the inept care-givers themselves. The really good care-givers would want the bad ones weeded out, it seems to me. --Jim Broede
Broede's Broodings said...
"Anonymous #3:
I have accomplished something. I've succeeded in getting some folks to think about the issue of inept care-givers. "
It doesn't seem like you are getting them to think, like you think they are. Not working. If you think someone is a bad caregiver, you should take "them" to task, specifically.
I don't see anyone saying that every caregiver is fit, just that every caregiver DOES deserve compassion and understanding. You were at a very bad, frustrating time. YOU should understand all that they may be going through. Pointing fingers helps no one, especially if it is in such a general direction. What you are doing, can be compared to a teacher telling a struggling student that they are stupid.
Anonymous:
I don't think I'd tell a struggling student that he/she is stupid. I might tell him/her that it'd be nice if he/she worked up to his/her potential. That he/she could do better. I'd give the student encouragement. And I would try to get the student to recognize that learning is a reward in itself. I'd try to instill a love of learning. Sort of a curiosity for life. If one isn't getting the job done, that person has to learn to recognize it. Directly. All the telling in the world won't be good enough -- unless there's recognition of the problem. Of the situation. The way it is. Force-feeding someone hardly ever works. There has to be an inner desire to get it right. How do you instill that? It has to come from inside. Inside one's being. Take love, for instance. One can't command love. I think it's lack of self-motivation rather than stupidity that hampers so many people. Sometimes, they are downright lazy. They don't put their minds to work. Or their hearts. They lack passion. The sad thing is that someone with dementia, especially severe dementia, reaches a point where he/she can't help him/her self. And that puts an immense burden on the care-giver. And some care-givers simply aren't up to the task. For a variety of reasons. Often, it's because the care-giver is depressed and over-worked and exhausted, mentally and emotionally. That's a dangerous situation. For the patient. For the care-giver. I think it's the obligation of society to do something about it. An ideal health care system would deal with the problem. But we're caught in a bind. With a health care system that's far from ideal. I recognize that I can't fix everything. So what do I do about it? I complain. Maybe if more people complained, we'd get things fixed. --Jim Broede
Oh, yeah, let's all just go to Jim's blog, and complain about all that is wrong in the world! See if it helps.
As long as you hang around here, making generalizations, here is where it is going to stay. Sure you complain, but to who, and about who? You are complaining to yourself! This is not reaching out, it is putting down, and that helps no one. Not even you, in the long run.
We ALL know that depressed, over worked, exhausted caregivers are not in ideal situations, but sometimes, that IS all there is. What good does it do, for you to "complain"? Who do you REALLY think reads this stuff??
Do you seriously think someone, say from a state department is going to say, Oh, Jim says we need this...or this. Let's get that done!" or "Oh, no, Jim thinks I am doing a bad job of caregiving. I should change that, right now!"
Gawd, Jim, you don't even realize the actual power you COULD have, right at your fingertips, if you only tried. I know, you will come back and say, "I'm doing it right here. On my blog. I am changing things, my way, in my time." Well, soon your time will be up, too, and what are you going to leave behind? Complaints. That's it.
Dear Anonymous:
Well, complaining is a good start. I seem to have aroused you. If you think inept care-giving is a problem -- well, that's one more ally. As for me, I try to step in and help beleaguered care-givers in my own community. Forest Lake. When I see they need a little help, a little assistance, I offer it. In some instances, I encourage them to place their patient in assisted living or a nursing home. For the patient's sake. For the care-giver's sake. For everyone's sake. Care-givers who can't handle it should look for alternatives. That's no shame. That's the noble thing to do. The right thing. I also learned long ago that I'm not gonna change the world. But heck, that ain't gonna stop me from complaining, from raising a fuss, a big stink. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. But it's worth a try. --Jim Broede
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