..for everyone near and dear to us.

I awoke before dawn on New Year's Eve 1999 with a feeling of anxiety. I had a weird dream in which a doctor prescribed eating rat meat. That was supposed to cure whatever we had. I guess the message was that such a diet would even cure Alzheimer's. And that goes to show how preposterous a dream can be.

Of course, I rebelled. I never liked the thought of dining on rat meat. I prefer ambrosia and nectar.

I didn't want to fall asleep again. Because I might return to the same dream. So I got up. Walked about the house for a while. And sat down to write about this dream in my journal. And I asked myself: How do I get my act together? How do I deal with Jeanne and her Alzheimer's?

I wrote in my journal that I've got to get a hold on myself. Get a hold on life. I can't allow myself, or Jeanne for that matter, to give up. We have to fight this. We have to seek help. And then I spotted a brochure on my desk from an organization called TriAD, a group formed to help people deal with Alzheimer's. To help the patient. And to help the care-giver. For information about support groups and other questions I was to call a 1-800 number. I said I'd do that -- that it was an appropriate way to start the year 2000.

There was a list of "facts" about Alzheimer's care-givers.

#Caregivers spend an average 69 to 100 hours per week providing care. And I believed it.

# Participating in an educational and professional support program has been shown to reduce care-giver depression.

# Comprehensive care-giver training and counseling support programs have been reported to delay nursing home placement of people with Alzheimer's.

Yes, it sounded like there was help out there. And maybe I was destined to take on another cause. The cause of care. Care for those stricken with Alzheimer's. The cause of caring for my beloved Jeanne. Without killing myself in the process.

And yes, I was scared. Scared out of my wits. The anxiety was a horrible feeling. But I kept telling myself, I had to find a way to cope. And to deal with this dreadful disease in a positive manner. That this does not have to be the end of the world. This can be a new beginning. For Jeanne...for me...for everyone near and dear to us. --Jim Broede