One thing I can control - my attitude.

I guess I’ve learned to accept life. Pretty much as it comes. To accept what can't be changed. And try to change what can be changed. Like when dear, sweet Jeanne died just over a year ago. I lamented. I anguished. But I couldn’t bring Jeanne back to life. And when Jeanne was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. That was devastating. For both of us. More so for me, maybe. Because by that time, Jeanne didn’t really fully understand the significance of it all. Jeanne was still Jeanne. Only less cognitively aware. Maybe that was a blessing. Because that made it easier for me to comfort and console Jeanne. Jeanne didn’t know any better. She was still able to enjoy the moment. The now. The present. I learned to recognize that as a blessing. And then the fact that I was still healthy. Mentally. And physically. I was younger than Jeanne. And in a position to retire early. So I was able to care for Jeanne. Once I got my head together. Once I learned to accept fate. I was still in a position to love Jeanne. To put my love to a test. I wasn’t ready to write off Jeanne. Thank god. Hey, I discovered I had deep love for Jeanne. And that the love deepened under this stressful situation. And the stress eased, and all but disappeared, because I learned to accept what I couldn’t change. I had no cure for Alzheimer’s. But I was able to adjust my attitude. To become positive. To arrange my priorities. So that Jeanne came first and foremost. And I experimented. With measures that might make life easier for Jeanne as she declined. In the last three years with Jeanne, I don’t think I became angry or lost my temper. Even once. Certainly not in the presence of Jeanne. I always tried to exude good vibes. I got Jeanne out for fresh air daily. I hand fed her lunch and supper daily. I gave Jeanne a nightly shower and body massage. I whispered sweet nothings to Jeanne daily. I reminded Jeanne that I loved her. Yes, daily. Often, numerous times. I had Jeanne smiling. Feeling safe and secure. Yes, I created to the best of my ability an environment over which I had some control. I still do that today. I still talk to Jeanne’s spirit. In fact, a whole lot of spirits. Even my dad. Who committed suicide almost 60 years ago. And I tell the spirits, hey, I’m in love. With life. I accept life totally. Even aspects of life over which I have no or very little control. But one thing I can control – my attitude. –Jim Broede