Sunday, August 17, 2008
Joyful saints.
I try to comfort people in travail. But not by the traditional means. In other words, I don't say, "Poor you. Poor you. Poor you." Instead, I suggest that unhappy people look at ways of becoming happy again. To find a lasting solution to their plight. To their unhappiness. Often, it's only a matter of refocusing on something going right in their lives. Yes, positive thinking. Asking themselves if there's love in their lives. Reason to love somebody or something. Even to love one's self. Of course, this alienates some people. The sad sacks who cannot find anything to love. Yes, all they want to hear is, "Poor you. Poor you. Poor you." But I am not going to play their game. Believe me, I've come across many sad sacks. Care-givers for Alzheimer patients. They've allowed themselves to be beaten down. In large part because they insist on being 24/7 care-givers. No let up. No daily breaks. Maybe because they feel guilty. Maybe because they want to be martyrs. Or quite possibly, they want to achieve sainthood. Well, I prefer to have only happy saints. Saints who love what they are doing. I want saints who come marching in. Joyful saints. --Jim Broede
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2 comments:
Or, Jim, perhaps financial constraints and ecomnomics give them no other choice than to be 24/7 caregivers. Not everyone has the financial resources to afford respite, and friends cannot always take proper care of the AD compromised loved one.
So lighten up, please. I'm sure you mean well, but the majority of caregivrs who care for their AD loved ones, give more than 100%. They do it out of love and compassion, and sometimes the constant stress does get to them. So cut them some slack.
I'm sure that almost everyone of the 24/7 care-givers mean well, too, anonymous. But let's face it. Sometimes that ain't good enough. Because an exhausted, bereaved and overwhelmed care-giver may be doing harm not only to herself/himself but to the patient as well. If a care-giver has to be 24/7 because of financial constraints and economics -- well, then it's a societal problem. We must find a way to give these care-givers relief/respite. Because it's the decent/right thing to do. Let's not pretend that these care-givers aren't doing harm to themselves and to their patients. --Jim Broede
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