I need protection...

I had a bad dream this morning. More a nightmare. I suppose because I was feeling overwhelmed. Too much to do. And come to think of it -- that was the thought on my mind when I went to bed at 1 in the morning. Because yesterday I did not find time to walk. For the first time in a long time. I was overscheduled. Overwhelmed, so to speak. Tried to do too many things. And I didn't find time for what's very, very important in my life. For time out. For complete respite. Yesterday, instead, I consumed myself with thoughts of what I should be doing. Like making the world a better place. Doing more fretting because I'm not doing enough. I was taking on a god complex. I see chaos and suffering in the world. And I was allowing myself to be consumed by it all. I was driving myself into unhappiness. Without consciously knowing it. But my dream/nightmare awakened me to what I was doing subconsciously. I was driving myself into unhappiness. Finding reason to be depressed. By feeling overwhelmed. I was committing a sin. By imagining that I'm god. Rather than a human being. Someone who can't do it all. I have to leave god things to god. And be human. Knowing my limits. And that I have to withdraw/retreat into my self-made cocoon. To find happiness. And pleasure. And love. And not feel the least bit guilty about it. Because I need protection...from this chaotic world. --Jim Broede