Pretending can be good therapy.

For years, I pretended that Jeanne didn't have Alzheimer's. In the early stages of the disease. Because I didn't want to believe it. And I think that was good. Because it buoyed my spirits. And Jeanne's spirits as well. I made off as if Jeanne had a lazy brain. And that with proper stimulation, with mental exercise, she could get the brain in working shape once again. We worked at it. Together. And it may have helped. But as time passed and Jeanne reached the mid-stages of Alzheimer's, it became apparent that we were fighting a losing battle. Decline was inevitable. But by that time, Jeanne wasn't scared any more. Neither was I, I suppose. Because I had learned acceptance. I was better able to cope. As a care-giver. Anyway, I tell care-givers, cope the best you can. Even if that means fooling yourself. In small ways. Especially at the beginning. You can half believe that it's Alzheimer's, and half believe that it isn't. It can be good therapy. Both for you and the patient. -- Jim Broede