Thursday, April 22, 2010
I felt privileged.
I think we have lots of babies in this world. Adults who feel sorry for themselves. I'll talk to them occasionally. To try to cheer 'em up. But they don't want that. They want me and the whole world to feel sorry for 'em. I refuse to do that. Some of 'em are Alzheimer care-givers. I tend to feel sorry for their patients. And I sympathize with the plight of care-givers. But feeling sorry -- well, that's another thing. Some care-givers have a martyr complex. But I think there's a difference between being the victim of Alzheimer's, and being a care-giver. Sort of like being a nurse. In a hospital. Sure beats being the patient. Especially a dying patient. I was a care-giver for my dear Jeanne for 13 years. And initially, I felt sorry for myself. But that was misplaced. I eventually learned not to feel sorry. I actually learned to focus intently on Jeanne. And the horror of her having to live with Alzheimer's. And in the end, I felt privileged for serving as Jeanne's primary care-giver. Because she was the love of my life. No reason to feel sorry about that. --Jim Broede
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15 comments:
If that is truly the way you feel about caregivers, you should not be posting there. Why bother yourself with people who you think are so inferior? In fact, you shouldn't be allowed to post there.
It's the way I feel about some care-givers. Not all care-givers. Some are babies. Always feeling sorry for themselves. They generally don't make good care-givers, in my opinion. What's wrong with saying that? You don't have to agree with me. The care-givers that are babies sound pretty much like you. Like they don't wanna hear the truth. --Jim
I think some of the worst care-givers in the world have Alzheimer patients. That's sad. They have no business being care-givers. But also, some of the best care-givers in the world have Alzheimer patients. And that's reason to celebrate. And be joyful. They ain't all bad. I'm just for weeding out the bad ones. The ones incapable of facing the truth. I've seen both kinds on the Alzheimer's message boards. It's an interesting and fascinating blend. --Jim
I bother myself with the 'inferior' care-givers because they cause harm. Not only to themselves, but to their patients. Something should be done about it. We shouldn't just sit idly by. --Jim
I'd like to see training programs for care-givers. Some of 'em just don't know what they are doing. --Jim
The incompetent care-givers often object to what I have to say. They don't like being called incompetent. Nobody does. But it's high time that they recognized their incompetency. Admit to it. And get help. I've gone through the incompetent stage. And I'm sorry for it. But I got better at it. And damn good. If I can do it, so can other incompetents. --Jim
We need discussion like this on the Alzheimer's message boards. We won't get it there. But we'll get it here. Because this is a free-wheeling blog. --Jim
Don't get me wrong. I think the Alzheimer's message boards serve a useful purpose. Just that it doesn't go far enough. I'm an active participant on the message boards. And I try to stay within the guidelines. Yes, to obey the rules. But the rules are a bit different in my blog. More free-wielding. More flexible. And it often leads to more penetrating discussion. The kind of discussion that would be deemed too controversial on the message boards. One goes to the message boards more for comfort. Which is nice. You'll get comfort here, too. Plus a bonus. Keen and objective insights about the intricacies of care-giving. --Jim
I've had over 6,500 posts on the Alzheimer's message boards. Posts that passed muster. That met the guidelines. And I'm proud of it. I believe in participation. In understanding. In kindness. I've learned much about Alzheimer's and care-giving from this participation. I am grateful to the Alzheimer's Association and the many contacts I have made through the message boards. It has been a wonderful and enlightening and continuing experience. That's why I stick around. --Jim
It sounds to me, as though you would be a great instructor of some sort, for caregivers you mention. However, it seems there is a lack of sensitivity on your part, if you call them babies. Do you really believe these caregivers are purposefully struggling? I am not familiar with Alzhemer's, but it sounds like a devastating disease.
The lack of sensitivity is on the part of incompetent care-givers. They are insensitive to the needs of their patients. My sensitivity is aimed at the patients. They deserve better. They need immediate protection from the incompetents. It's a serious problem. And it's a societal problem. And it keeps being neglected. It's shameful. The fact that we don't have universal health care. That's gross insensitivity. On a societal scale. We have lost track of the common good. If we ever had track of it. We Americans are failures on a societal level. Sad. Sad. Sad. --Jim
If you know someone who is purposefully harming their patient, you really should report it to the authorities. It could be that circumstances are beyond their control, and their own health is suffering. I should have stated a lack of compassion.
I do not understand how universal health care can solve this. Resources are available now, if you know where to look. Maybe you could refer these caregivers to one of the many agencies that could help, since you seem so knowledgeable.
You are spreading old wives tales. In reality, adequate, affordable care-giving services are not available to everyone. --Jim
Many experts and authorities are well aware of the situation. Inadequate care-giving. But they don't do anything about it because the problems are so overwhelming. They don't know where to start. I ain't gonna solve the world's problems either. But that won't stop me from complaining about 'em. Right here in this blog and elsewhere. --Jim
I guess I'm a chronic complainer. I've complained about my Chicago Cubs baseball team ever since I was a kid. Complained that they haven't been to a World Series since 1945. And haven't won a World Series since 1908. People say I should do something about my complaints. To fix things. But hey, some things are beyond fixing. Such as the Cubs. They most likely won't get to another World Series in my lifetime. Even if I live to be 1,000. And I can't do anything about that. Except complain. Same goes for lots of things going on in this world. For instance, I don't like wars. I think they're disgusting. And immoral. But it's beyond me to stop or prevent wars. So I gotta live with 'em. And just complain. Yes, complain, complain, complain. Endlessly. Little wonder that I've become a chronic complainer. There's so much to complain about.--Jim
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