A crazy thought.

Leonard Cohen. I never heard of the guy. Until my Italian true love introduced me to his music. Subdued music. That's the way it sounds to me. Very subdued. Tranquil. Sort of a monotone. Like he's speaking the song. Rather than singing. My true love put on a Leonard Cohen CD this morning. And I got caught up in the flow. Didn't have to listen to the words. Instead, I listened to the mesmerizing voice. That's all I need. To be hypnotized. Interesting, isn't it? Cohen sings like I would sing. If only I could sing. I can't. I'm not even sure if I know how to write. Let alone sing. But I do put words on paper. Maybe I write like Cohen sings. I try to mesmerize myself. I don't care about being a good writer. I'll settle for bad. I merely want to write my way. My natural way. Whatever makes me comfortable. That's even more important than making others comfortable. I'm not out to please anyone. Other than myself. And my true love. Though I don't have to set out consciously pleasing her. I can merely be myself. She's as accepting of me as I am of her. But in different ways. Mostly, by being herself. That's what I want her to be. Her genuine self. She doesn't have to please me. I can take her every which way. Which is precisely the way I take myself. The good and the bad. But I think of bad as good. So that everything is good. That sounds crazy, I know. But that's me. Crazy. Downright looney. Having no idea where I'm going. That's the story of my life. I go with the flow. Downstream. To places I've never been before. I don't need the familiar places. Because I want to explore the unknown. Often I dig deep into my own being. I head into the interior of my soul and mind. Better than venturing outward. Going inward makes me feel good. I can do that alone. All by myself. At any time. As long as I am conscious. I'm curious. I'd like to explore the cosmos. And eternity. But better yet, I'd like to explore the deepest depths of my interior. My mind. My soul. Fantastic that I can even comprehend that I am alive. That I exist. And that I am not a mere robot. Though I've often wondered if I'm fooling myself. And that I'm on cruise control. And that I have been duped into feeling that I have free will. Maybe I'm no more than a sophisticated computer. Planted here on Earth by creators much smarter than I. Ah, such a crazy thought. --Jim Broede