About care-giving, love, life.

For 13 years I was an Alzheimer's care-giver. Learning on the job. For my dear sweet wife Jeanne. I made a choice. Seems to me if men can choose to get in, women can choose to get out. I made that point recently on the Alzheimer's message boards. When a woman care-giver said she was feeling like she was in 'forced slavery.' Many women choose not to get out, in part, because of the pressures of the societal structure. We need to change the structure so that more women truly have the option to opt out of 'forced slavery.' It's a shame that some women feel 'forced.' By the societal structure. By what's expected of them. It ain't fair. I don't look down my big nose at anyone who chooses not to be a care-giver. Man or woman. It's a mammoth task. An incredible responsibility. Some are up to it. Others not. Maybe the best care-givers do it out of an act of love. That's nice. But even some of those break down. They can't handle it any more. And I empathize with them. It often requires immense physical, mental and emotional endurance. And not all of us have that. Which is no shame. There are human limits. All I know is that I have learned great respect for Alzheimer care-givers. I know what it's like. I'm reflecting on this now. Almost five years to the day that Jeanne died. Leaving a big void in my life. But at the same time, I've gotten on with life. Maybe because Jeanne taught me something. About care-giving. About love. About life. -Jim Broede