My ultimate pleasure.

My father was an addict. A habitual gambler. Eventually, it drove him sort of crazy. He committed suicide. Some psychiatrists argue that gambling is a death wish. Gamblers tend to take high risks. For the euphoria that comes with winning. But losing can drive them into despair, into depression. Yes, into suicide. I'm an addict, too. Using my father's genes to good advantage. To turn myself into an addict with positive addictions. I'm an exercise freak. Both physically and mentally. Feeling compelled to exercise daily. Mentally. Physically. I write. Daily. Willingly. Compellingly. With pleasure. Relish. Used to write for newspapers. Now I write a blog. Daily. And love letters to my Italian true love when we are separated. And even often when I am with her. And I workout daily. Walking 17 miles today. And when I don't walk, I take to my bicycles. The stationary one. Or the real mountain bike. Never ever gambled the way my father did. With real money. Oh, I gambled my emotions. Fervently. On the Chicago Cubs, for instance. But I'm in control now. Wasn't always. A Cubs heartbreaking loss used to send me into sort of a doldrum for a day or two. Now for only a minute or two. Because I fully understand. I have absolutely no control over the outcome of a baseball game. Unless I'm one of the players on the field of competition. And I don't play baseball. Too old and too inept for that. Meanwhile, I pursue happiness. Life as a romantic idealist, a spiritual free-thinker, a political liberal, a lover and a dreamer. Taking control when I can. And when I can't, I accept the fact. I have control over my attitude. Toward life. I have learned acceptance, if nothing else. Such as perennial losing seasons by the Chicago Cubs. But then I often go into my dream mode. Dreaming of the Cubs winning the World Series. In my lifetime. This year. Every year. That has become my favorite pastime. A positive passion. Dreaming. Wonderful, satisfying dreams. And often I live my dreams. Such as living with my Italian true love. This winter. Here in Sardinia. That's my ultimate pleasure. My most satisfying addiction. Being in love. With life. Day in and day out. --Jim Broede