Focused on the good stuff.

One has to learn to compartmentalize life. To separate the bad stuff from the good stuff. To more or less turn off a switch. Or to find a way to get respite. To treat one's self kindly. To not allow people and the pitfalls to drag one down. For instance, I sort of wrote off my sister for many years. Because she's an alcoholic who refused to recover. Until very recently. Now she's all right. She did the right thing. She had to do it of her own volition. I tried to assist her. Up to a point. But eventually I decided to get out of her life. Because it was too depressing to watch. Maybe that makes me cruel. But hey, it made me sane. And I got on with living my life. Recognizing that I can't be all things to all people. I can help some. But I can't help everyone. That's impossible. But if I'm gonna help anyone, I have to take care of myself. To be in mental and emotional and physical condition to be able to respond effectively. My dear wife Jeanne died of Alzheimer's a little over 5 years ago. After 13 years of coping. In various ways. For years, I was a 24/7 care-giver. Because I truly loved Jeanne. But at a point, I had to become an 8-10 hour-a-day caregiver. And that made me a more effective care-giver. Really, a more loving care-giver. Because I went home from the nursing home every night and took care of myself. I got daily respite. That was good for Jeanne. And good for me. Yes, for both of us. I put reasonable balance into my life. I did the right thing for Jeanne. And the right thing for me. Amazing, isn't it? I compartmentalized my life. And in the process, at the nursing home, I became involved with caring for other dementia patients. I became more understanding. Of everyone. I was able to spread myself around. I was better serving the common good. And my good, too. I became a well-rested and proficient juggler. I learned to take life one day at a time. To savor what I could savor. To make the best of each day, each moment. And that revitalized me. On a daily basis. I'm still doing it. I'm in daily pursuit of happiness. I'm in love again. With my Italian true love. Living half of the year with her in Sardinia. And when I'm not there, I'm connected with her on Skype. An audio/video connection on the Internet. And this summer she will be living with me. At my lake home in Minnesota. And though I'm retired, after writing for newspapers almost all of my life, I'm still writing. About life and love. Whatever compels me. In my blog. Called Broede's Broodings. You can get it by googling the title. On the Internet. All I can say is, thank gawd. I am in love. With life. Just the way it's supposed to be. Focused on the good stuff. --Jim Broede