The way life was meant to be.

Five years ago I started my blog. Now I’m posting my 5,339^th thread. I hardly miss a day. Maybe 20 times . It’s been an enjoyable experience. Even when taking on a group I affectionately  dubbed  ‘snob ladies.’ From the Alzheimer’s message boards. They didn't like me. For what I was posting on the message boards. Claiming that maybe I didn’t show enough empathy towards Alzheimer care-givers. My dear sweet wife Jeanne had died in January 2007 after a 13-year bout with Alzheimer’s.  During Jeanne’s long siege I posted almost daily on the message boards. Talking about care-giving. And my experiences. And I emphasized the need for ‘good vibes’ therapy. Yes, positive attitudes on the part of care-givers.  And I suggested that some care-givers were inadvertently negative. Doing more harm than good. And that it was no shame to openly admit  that some of us aren’t cut out to be care-givers.  I certainly wasn’t good at care-giving from the outset.  But I learned. On the job. And probably finished as a darn good and loving care-giver.  Learned that I made mistakes. By exuding bad vibes. It all turned around dramatically when I started exuding nothing but good vibes. It helped, too,  that I started getting daily respite. Instead of being a 24/7 care-giver, I transitioned to a rested 8-10 hour a day care-giver. Didn’t miss a single day for the 38 months that Jeanne spent in a nursing home. But I got home by 10 o’clock every night. Had a leisurely supper. Read a book. Watched TV. Got a good night’s sleep. And returned to the nursing home by late morning.  Jeanne got loving attention. Fresh air, too. Lengthy outdoor wheelchair rides. Daily. Showers. Every night. Hand-feeding in the privacy of her room instead of in the distracting atmosphere of congregate dining.  Really, every Alzheimer patient needs this sort of individual attention. And sadly, so very, very many don’t get it. Anyway, it’s gonna be six years next month that Jeanne died. Physically, that is. She’s still with me. In spirit. And I’m alive and thriving. Living with my second true love. In Italy.  And posting right here. Daily. Yes, getting on. The way life was meant to be.   –Jim Broede