Without any qualms of guilt.

My dementia-ridden friend Ron keeps losing or hiding his hearing aids.  Maybe it’s because he doesn’t know any better. That can be aggravating for Ron’s care-givers. His daughter Julie, for instance. She loves Ron. Evidenced by her devoted care. Having taken Ron into her own home. She puts up with the disruption and upset.  A remarkable feat, indeed. I keep telling Julie to take care of herself. First and foremost.  To seriously consider putting Ron into assisted living.  But she doesn’t. Easier to live with Ron than with guilt. That’s the case with many Alzheimer care-givers. I felt guilt, too, when I put my dear sweet Jeanne into a nursing home. But the guilt quickly evaporated. Because I became an immensely better care-giver. When I started caring for Jeanne 8 to 10 hours daily. Instead of 24/7.  I didn’t miss a single day at the nursing home in 38 months. Seeing that Jeanne got quality care. From a rested, devoted, loving care-giver. Of course, with help from professionals. The nursing home staff. I saw to it. Learning that I couldn’t do it all alone. It took a team effort. I liked being the team leader. Without any qualms of guilt. –Jim Broede