Better for Rick to tend to himself.

Julie's husband, Rick, has become Julie's primary care-giver. Which is ironic. Looks like it's more of a challenge than when Rick and Julie served six years as primary care-givers for Julie's Alzheimer-riddled parents. The stress of dealing with the parents was a big contributing factor -- in turning Julie into a raging alcoholic. Both parents have died. Which may be a good thing. By providing relief. But care-giving hasn't stopped, at least not for Rick. Now he's focused on caring for Julie. And it's exasperating. Driving him to distraction. If not crazy.  Rick really needs to take care of himself, first and foremost. Otherwise, he'll end up as a basket case, too. Another casualty of caring, like Julie. Unfortunately, Julie failed to take care of herself.  Failed to get adequate respite. She became exhausted. Every which way. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Rick, no doubt, has been the stronger one. There's no way that Julie could have handled the Alzheimer care-giving alone. Rick did the real hard stuff. And he pretty much held up.  He's the lone remaining care-giver. Caring exclusively for Julie now. And Julie doesn't always appreciate it. Because her inebriated mind is blurred. And it's taking a heavy toll on Rick. He needs respite. From Julie's depressive self. He's attending meetings of Al-Anon. Mostly for moral support. But I'm worried about his health. He needs to find more ways of caring for himself. Including breaks from Julie. He could do that. If only Julie learned to take care for  herself occasionally.  But Julie is virtually helpless. Yes, that's the sad plight of the addicted.  Rick must resist being pulled down into the quicksand with Julie. Better for him to stop struggling, and save himself. --Jim Broede