----- Original Message -----
From: "Jim Broede" jbbroede@hotmail.com
To: n2themist@charter.net
Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2006 12:36 AM
Subject: For Keith's sake
Deborah:
My dad did what he did. And your brother Keith did what he did. They both chose to die. By their own hand. Before their time, so to speak. Nothing we can do about it. But we can control how we react to their deaths. Their suicides. Maybe what I've done is show my father how to live. To be happy. Joyful. To love. To love life. I think that's the positive approach. You, too, dear Deborah, can show Keith how to live. Despite your depression. Oh, you'll need help. But help's there. From the likes of me. Oh, from so many others who really care. But mostly, you've got to help yourself. By digging deep. Within. To find good reason to savor the life you've got. To be happy. Continue to focus on Keith. But in a happy, positive manner. Believe that Keith is still alive. With you. In spirit. That he lives in another dimension. A spirit world. I'm convinced that's so. That my dad lives. That I may see him again. I talk to him now the same way I talk to god. Direct. In thought. I let him know that he shouldn't feel guilty. About his suicide. About leaving his family and friends behind. I tell him that things worked out pretty good. Even in his absence. That the rest of us, for the most part, have gone on to happy and rewarding lives. That I, in particular, have a passion, a zest for life. I tell dad, kind of strange, isn't it? Here you chose to cash out at age 38. And I'm at 70, and I'm happy and joyful. Yes, despite dear Jeanne's dementia. I still feel blessed. And honored to be Jeanne's primary care-giver. Blessed because I'm in love. And I'd like to live forever.
Oh, Deborah, in a way, my father's suicide awakened me to the wonders of life. In that sense, my father did me a favor. He set off a chain reaction that resulted in much good. Deborah, do you understand what I'm saying? It is, get on with life. Show Keith how to live. Don't follow in his footsteps. Get out of your funk. For Keith's sake. --Jim Broede
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12 comments:
Jim, I think you are missing the point. She' s upset with you talking about her brother's suicide in a public forum. She's not depressed about the manner of his death, as far as I can tell. She's annoyed with you.
I bet if you talk about suicide and not mention her brother and his particular circumstanes - she'll leave you alone.
But i think you want her annoyed. You want her to continue to communicate with you. Even though it's in a negative manner.
You both are feeding off each other's negativity.
Something for you to consider...
Can bloggers be sued
With blogs now being published under the writer's name, and easily identifiable and writing on public topics, there's no reason why blogs are not being sued for libel.
In public figure libel cases, the public figure has to prove that what's written is maliciously known to be false. The private individual, though, only has to prove that a reporter is being careless - was the individual called? Were questions asked? In reporting, these are the questions that need to be answered to protect against libel.
Bloggers, though, blog on belief. Bloggers are like disc jockeys rather than reporters - they say what's on their mind.
There are three interesting set of legal issues for bloggers:
Republisher Liability: the site is used to post letters, responses, chat rooms, message boards. For the Republisher site, the Website is a neutral conduit, and cannot be sued. The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that such sites - including blogs that republish/link from other sources - are protected against libel.
Originator Liability: the Website can't be sued, but you can be sued. If you post on a blog, even though it is a neutral conduit and is protected, the originator is open to liability. The safe harbor is not true for everyone.
Protection against subpoenas: the Website falls under the shield law case, with unpublished material you don't want to testify about. The third case is currently at issue with the lawsuits against the Apple bloggers - and, the issue is whether or not those bloggers are protected as a journalist would be.
Unfortunately, many bloggers think that their blogs fall under the protection of the Ninth Circuit Court's ruling. This isn't so. If a blogger posts libelous content that is original, it is still libel.
Do bloggers deserve the same protection as journalists? On one side, it obvious that bloggers are journalists, and on the other side, people are just having private conversations. Bloggers are trying to site on both sides of the fence - citizen journalists and personal journals. They want the protection of shield law as a journalist, but at the same time not worry about fact checking since it is just a blog.
Originally, people thought that since blogs had low readership there was no real reason to worry about libel. But, now the way that search engines work, blogs are being easily found - with comments and posts of an unflattering nature.
Mr. Broede I am not dealing with you directly in the future. I'll be making no comments. I will be talking with my attorney and unless ALL of your references to me and or my brother are not removed immediately I will pursue this. Since my brother is an attorney I have no shortage of legal representation. Remove every reference and do it now.
Deborah
Deborah:
My son-in-law is an attorney, too. And a darn good one. You have not been libeled. Far from it. --Jim Broede
Defamation per se!!!
All states except Arizona, Arkansas, Mississippi, Missouri, and Tennessee recognize that some categories of statements are considered to be defamatory per se, such that people making a defamation claim for these statements do not need to prove that the statement was defamatory. In the common law tradition, damages for such statements are presumed and do not have to be proven.
There's nothing defamatory here. Maybe other than some slurs aimed at me. And I have a thick skin. --Jim Broede
Think about it. Deborah is exploiting personal tragedies in her immediate family life into books. She’s already written “Into the Mist,” about her personal coping and dealings and experiences with dreaded Alzheimer’s and now she’s announced that she’s taking time out to write a book about suicide. It’s not like she’s trying to keep secret her highly personal encounters with Alzheimer’s and suicide. They’ve been a big part of her life. And she’s been promoting herself and her self-published book. And she’s let it be known there’s another to come. Seems to me what Deborah wants is to reserve this domain – public talk of suicide and our personal experiences with it – for herself. In the way she wants it handled. And she doesn’t want any interference from me. She doesn’t want me to challenge some of her assumptions. Well, if she’s going to be an author and a self-styled expert on the subjects of Alzheimer’s and suicide, she had better get used to critics – that is, critics that occasionally challenge her points of view. Rather than just endorsements from friends and family members. Deborah should be willing to publicly debate issues pertaining to suicide. Hey, Deborah has had no reluctance to take me on in the public domain (various message boards and blogs) and even question my character and integrity publicly. And now she’s crying foul? Give me a break. I have as much grounds for a lawsuit as Deborah does. Which isn’t much. My blog gives me an outlet through which I can take on Deborah and deal with the issues in a relatively free and open manner. I’m expressing opinions. And I’m not maligning or defaming Deborah’s character. I’m trying to debate the issues of Alzheimer’s and suicide, and the ways we deal with these often highlyb personal tragedies in our lives –Jim Broede
You Dad killed himself because he was a cad and a coward. A gambler who impreganated your Mom with you and only married her out of soical pressure.
If it makes you feel better to say he was hero and brave, so be it.
Delude yourself.
Isn't that kind of a harsh judgment of dad? Anyway, I'm a free-thinker. And we free-thinkers are rather kindly in our judgments. That's our nature. We try to give dad and others any benefit of the doubt. We're positive and upbeat thinkers. Optimists. Lovers of life. --Jim
Repeating sucks
You have proven that you know NOTHING of Deborah Uetz or her writings. She does not proclaim to be an expert on anything. She is sharing her experiences, in the hopes that they can help another along the way.
You not only have thick skin, but a thick skull as well.
It is such a shame, that you cannot use all of your energy for good, in stead of such hurtful pasttimes.
I have done much good, dear anonymous. Just read my thousands of posts on the Alzheimer's message boards. Objectively. I've been posting since November 2003. You'll find many fine and uplifting and positive posts. Through and through. Just plug in at random. You'll see. --Jim Broede
Mr. Jim Broede
You began this blog with stories of people you have crossed paths with in the Alzheimer’s Association message forum. For reasons known only to you those stories were fabricated and put out to the public to present us as we are not.
You described my book, Into the Mist, as exploitive of my family and my time spent trying to help other care givers as self-promotion. You attempted to hurt me in the most reprehensible way imaginable, by writing about my family member’s suicide and further describing details which were untrue and driven by some anger toward me which I do not and cannot understand.
My book was my way of giving back to those who had helped me better understand what was happening to my father when his life was tossed upside down by Alzheimer’s disease.
Through the early days of total chaos and the long journey through the stages my friends in the Mass. General online support room gave me strength and courage and I wanted to do the same for whomever found themselves walking the Alzheimer’s care giver path.
Over the course of several years I gathered together researchers, Geriatric Specialists, care givers, Alzheimer’s patients and a Psychologist to help me build a body of work that would have information and heart, wisdom and a bit of a map through the mist.
It was indeed self published. With three thousand dollars of my own money I did all I could to get it to press quickly. By doing so the book was available long before it would have been. As a result my part of each book sold is less than $2.00. Obviously I was not motivated by money.
For a brief moment in time I let your cutting words, insults and word twisting affect my view of the work I have done, my brother’s death and even question whether I would continue to be a part of the Alzheimer’s Association message board.
Thanks to my many friends who saw what was happening with your blog and who helped me understand that there was no need or purpose to be served by interacting with your writings I left it behind.
I am posting this today because as long as your blog exists there will be people who do not know me or my book or my life who may believe the things you have written.
In closing I say to you your words do not define me. Your accusations no longer bring me pain and I wish you peace and God’s grace.
I thank God all I have been given, for the time I had with my loved ones and for the genuine and amazing friends I have met along this path.
Deborah Lynn Uetz
www.intothemist.us
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