...a very unhappy woman.

I know of a woman. She's an interesting study. A sick woman, I think. And I suspect it’s that she never got over her bad and failed marriage. If my recollection is correct, it broke up after 21 years. And she remains bitter over it. She hasn’t gotten on with life. Fully. She harbors the bitterness. And I think she dislikes me because I had a good marriage. Some people are like that. Unhappy people see happy people, and they can’t stand it. Because it reminds them of their failure. Their inability to achieve genuine happiness. They want to be pitied. They get their solace from pity parties. They like being around fellow mourners. If somebody encourages them to "don’t worry, be happy," they resent it. Because they don’t want to be happy. They feel wronged. They want to be pitied. They want to be told, “Oh, you poor thing. I feel so bad for you. You’ve been mistreated. You’ve been abused.” I suspect she will forever hold a grudge against men, in general, because of the act of one man. Her ex-husband. She’ll never be able to forgive him. And she sees her ex-husband in other men. From her perspective, all men are bad. They cannot be trusted. They are inherently evil. I give her ex-husband the benefit of the doubt. I have to ask, how could he have put up with her for 21 years? That was a remarkable feat in itself. When a marriage breaks up, I suspect that both parties are to blame, to varying degrees. Usually, it doesn’t come down to one spouse being 100 percent at fault. Maybe it’s not a 50-50 sharing the blame thing. But let’s say, 80-20, or something like that. She has to learn to accept some of the blame. And to forgive. She hasn’t been able to do that. And until she does, she’s gonna remain a very unhappy woman. --Jim Broede