Unshackled...and happy...and good.

How does a loner deal with life? I suppose that is a question for me to try to answer. I’m a loner, essentially. I don’t join organizations. My associates consist of a handful of one-on-one contacts. I don’t readily cultivate friends. I’m not a joiner. Not a churchgoer. Not an avid social being in the conventional sense. I write. A daily journal. And lots of letters. E-mail letters. And so I’ve become a lover of words. Rather than pictures. I like to think in words. I write to strangers. And I try to get to know them that way. Through words. Rather than visual pictures. So, physical appearance doesn't play a big role in my getting to know someone initially. Two of the people I currently know best (as friends, of sort), I’ve come to know without seeing. Oh, I have a picture of them in my mind. But I’ve not seen so much as a photograph of them. And I think that’s an advantage. What if suddenly I met them face-to-face? Would my attitude toward them change? No, I don't think so. And another thing I do, I read books. And magazines. And newspapers. I watch very little television. And in recent years, I haven’t gone to movies. I write. And I read. That’s how “pictures” come into my mind. Through words. Mostly written words. And I’ve made my living with the written word. More so than the spoken word. And maybe that makes me an oddity. Oh, the spoken word was instrumental with the love of my life. Jeanne. But since Jeanne died, I’ve resorted more to the written word. And just plain thought. Reflection. I carry on spiritual conversations. I talk to Jeanne as I talk to god. And I listen to Jeanne. Jeanne helps me fine tune my imagination. And I dream. Day dreams. And night dreams. And I see things. In my mind and my heart and my gut and my soul. I talk to myself. Maybe I’m my own best friend. Every day I communicate with myself. I’ve learned to listen to me. To know what I feel. I find ways to put it into words. I feel like a poet. I feel alive and conscious and free. Unshackled...and happy…and good. --Jim Broede