Good luck. I feel your pain.

The woman calls herself Griff’s Mom, and she’s troubled. She posted today on the Alzheimer’s message boards. “I'm seriously considering changing my name and not telling my mother,” Griff’s Mom said. “I'm so tired of hearing it yelled all day AND all night. Today is not a good day and I've been crying constantly. Thank God for my husband! His presence affords me a little time alone during the day but in the afternoons and evenings I'm the only one she'll deal with. I'm so tired all the time. She gets up 3-4 times a night telling me she's done sleeping, wants to get dressed. It's exhausting as you all well know. Thanks for letting me vent!”

Well, here’s what I told Griff’s mom:

You have to take care of yourself. Otherwise, you won't be in shape to care for mom. How you achieve all this, I don't know. I did it by setting priorities. I retired. Made time for it. I recognized that I couldn't do everything. My life was too full. I put myself and good care for my Jeanne first and foremost. And I neglected other things. That's the way it is. One can only do so much. If you exhaust yourself, you're no good for anyone. Not for mom. Not for yourself. I also got help. Jeanne went into a nursing home. So I had professional help. But I devoted 8-10 hours daily to providing supplemental care for Jeanne. And the rest of the time I got rest. Yes, respite. It was that simple. It worked. I'm sure your circumstances aren't the same as mine. So you'll have to tailor a solution that best fits you and mom. Meanwhile, I suspect that changing your name ain't gonna be enough. Good luck. I feel your pain. --Jim