"I'm operating on approximately 45 minutes of sleep," a beleaguered care-giver declared yesterday on the Alzheimer's message boards, " so if my spelling, grammar, whatever looks bad I'll blame it on that. A couple days ago I saw more agitation in DH's stance, and more anger in his voice. Last night he took it to another level. No, I was not hurt, but he did grab me in anger and pull me in his direction when I tried to walk away. I am anxiously waiting for that Neuro appt. that DH's PCP made for us almost 2 months ago. We have 25 days to go. His confusion seems almost 'selective' to me. It is so on again, off again. I can't help but feel so low down as to believe he is purposely doing it to upset me, or to get sympathy, or to use as an excuse to be hostile, and disrespectful. His attempts to make me promises, ask if I love him, tell me he loves me, and ask for kisses several times an hour are met with purely vile, angry, hateful feelings. He disgusts me. And no, JB, I am not a burned out caregiver who needs to put him in a nursing home. I am simply a loyal wife, who is really exhausted today, and really pissed off, and venting on this forum which is what it was meant to be in the first place. So unless you can say something supportive rather than condescending~~ JUST KEEP IT ZIPPED. "
Yes, folks, I feel for this woman. This care-giver. And her patient. She's having a horrifically bad day. Maybe a bad week. A bad month. A bad year. She means well. No doubt about it. But she's overburdened. Overworked. And if she keeps going at this pace, she's likely to break down. She's getting close to the edge. She needs help. She needs a care-giver of her own. Here we have two people sorely in need of care and protection. And it's quite possible neither one of 'em will get what they desperately need. And deserve. Sad, isn't it? --Jim Broede
P.S. I couldn't say this on the Alzheimer's message boards. But I can say it here. That's one reason why I created this blog.
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9 comments:
What is sad, is the need of yours to copy and print this, then whine to have the content edited.
Anonymous:
No need for me to whine. Because Beth and Kelli are closely monitoring the Alzheimer's forum daily. To enforce the guidelines. That's why some of you ladies have been edited and deleted and suspended and banned. Haven't you noticed? I have. Some of you also seem to have left in a huff. My, my. Just think. You gals get a little huffy from time to time. --Jim Broede
P.S. At least you get the unedited version here. --Jim
I guess what I’m suggesting, is that the care-giver I quoted in this thread is in deep trouble. And so is her husband, the patient. She acknowledges that her husband has been getting violent with her. And she admits that she feels “disgust” towards him. That ain’t good, folks, on either end. Sounds like it’s a situation that’s rapidly getting intolerable. Out of hand. For both of ‘em. One of these days, the husband could beat up his wife. Maybe even kill her. And the wife, well, she seems almost ready to flip out. A nervous breakdown could be around the corner. Now, I think the wife is well-intentioned. She genuinely wants to do what’s best for her husband. And she thinks that means keeping him at home. While she continues as his 24/7 care-giver. That’s admirable. But it may be foolish. My argument is that everyone may be better off if the husband went into assisted living, or a nursing home. He’d get professional care. Meanwhile, the wife could visit him as often as she wishes. Maybe daily. And she’d also be able to get daily respite. I’d encourage the wife to listen to reason. To consider her alternatives. Unfortunately, she already may be in a state of mind that makes her irrational. And yes, indeed, that’s very, very sad, isn’t it? –Jim Broede
Geeze, Jim,
If it wasn't for the Alzheimer Assoc. board, you wouldn't even have a blog! Where would you get your material??
"They" are not "closely monitoring the Alzheimer's forum daily". They only go in, when someone complains. There are still inappropriate posts, even some of yours, that have not been removed, simply because no one complained about them.
Anonymous:
I haven't been complaining. So who's complaining? I don't think they are waiting for complaints any more. And if that's the case, I think that's fine. A good move in the right direction. --Jim Broede
I'm gathering that the woman who is the subject of this thread is reasonably pleased that I'm discussing her situation in my blog rather than on the Alzheimer's message boards. At least that's what I gather from reading her latest post on the message boards. And I'm pleased that I've been able to relieve some of her stress and anxiety by being accommodating. And I, for one, hope that she finally gets her situation resolved. One way or another. So that she's happy. And so her husband is happy. I'm for peace and tranquility. And for finding ways to cope with Alzheimer's. There are many ways. --Jim Broede
Hey, folks, wasn't that long ago that we eclipsed 10,000 hits. A week ago. And now we've surpassed 11,000 hits. By the end of next year, I'm expecting 100,000 hits. I want to thank all you loyalists for your support of this blog. It's appreciated. --Jim Broede
And I was just wondering about Larry the cable guy. I haven't heard from him in a long time. Where are you Larry? You're welcome here. Your saving grace, by the way, is your sense of humor. --Jim Broede
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