Let's see to it that their patients get proper care.

I remember the night a new nurses’ aide helped prepare Jeanne for bed. She almost shouted at Jeanne. Talked in a very loud voice. Assuming that Jeanne was hard of hearing.

“You can speak softly,” I said. “Jeanne hears better than most of us.”

The tendency, I guess, with some people, is to treat the elderly and dementia patients as if they are deaf and dumb. Stupid, too. And they really aren’t. Many times, they are much smarter and more with it than we think.

Other times, we care-givers get downright frustrated. And we talk to our patients in a harsh tone and manner. Because we’re impatient and at our wit’s end.

Whenever I see a chronically frustrated care-giver, I wonder if he/she is suited for the role. I initially went through tough times in caring for Jeanne. My patience occasionally wore thin. And that didn't speak well for me.

I see that with some of the professionals at nursing homes, too. Thank gawd, by the time Jeanne entered one, I was learning fast what it takes to be a decent care-giver. So I was able to be Jeanne’s advocate and protector. I saw to it that Jeanne was treated with kindness and dignity. With special care.

Instead of one bath a week, Jeanne got a nightly shower. Instead of eating in the congregate dining area, Jeanne dined at a leisurely pace in her room to the accompaniment of soothing music. Instead of being cooped up indoors day after day, Jeanne went outdoors daily for wheelchair rides.

And if a nurse or aide failed to meet my standards, they heard about it, and the situation got corrected. Pronto.

And I didn’t hesitate to clash with staff members. Including administrators. I was particularly annoyed with two of the social services directors. Because they seemed unhappy in their jobs. That ain’t good. Not for them. And not for the people they deal with. Fortunately, both of 'em decided to quit. With encouragement from me. I hope they found happier pursuits.

Yes, I’m for people finding jobs that make them reasonably happy. Not frustrated.

And on the Alzheimer’s message boards, I see some very unhappy care-givers. Some have even talked of taking their own lives. They are depressed, overwhelmed and presently unsuited for what they’re doing. They really aren’t helping themselves, or their patients. It’s a problem. A sad state of affairs. But the Ladies Aid Society tells me I need to be more compassionate. More understanding.

And I agree. Those care-givers need help. They need to get in for treatment and counseling. And I go a step further. Let's see to it that their patients get proper care. –Jim Broede