"My husband has now been in a nursing facility for four months," writes Maggie on the Alzheimer's message boards, "and I find myself grieving to the point that I can not function. I try to go to the nursing home each day, but I can hardly bear to see him that way. When I leave, I feel like I have not stayed long enough -- that I need to do more. I feel guilt that I couldn't take care of him at home. I look forward to nothing. I want to crawl in bed and stay there, but I have to get up and go to work. I feel no passion for teaching anymore. If I do for a fleeting moment enjoy something, I feel guilty that I can't share it with him. Everyone tells me I should live my life, but I dont' want to live it without him. When do you begin to not feel so darned guilty and begin to live again? Does this disease take everyone with it?"
No, Alzheimer's doesn't take everyone with it. You'll be all right some day, Maggie. Believe me. My Jeanne died Jan. 18. And you know how much I loved her. And I grieved. And I anguished. But at some point, I told myself to get on with life. Exactly what Jeanne would have wanted me to do. To continue to love life. And you know what, Maggie? I've survived. And I'm in love. There's no other way to live. To be happy and in love. You can make that choice, too, Maggie. I'm a living and loving example. --Jim Broede
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