A positive attitude can make the push...enjoyable.

Oh, those ladies in the Ladies Aid Society. I love 'em. Partly because they are so entertaining. And partly because they are obsessed with me. I rile them no end. Even when I don't mean to. They will always think that I am conniving and scheming and that I'm totally evil. And insensitive. That I am the devil incarnate. And hey, that really doesn't bother me. It amuses me. Yet, I think I could win these ladies over. If I met them face to face. It would be a challenge. But I think I could do it. And I'd laugh trying. I'm really not the ogre they imagine.

Another thing these ladies have taught me. To better understand the lynch mob mentality. How perfectly good and nice and innocent people have been lynched over the ages. It happens all the time. Even within our own judicial system. There have been many, many innocent people executed. But in America, and especially in places like George Bush's Texas, we keep parading one after another into the execution chambers. No rich people. But many of them are poor people. Minorities. People who can't afford good attorneys. So they get railroaded. Sent to their deaths. So that some smug conservative Americans can get satisfaction. The feeling that evil people got their just dues. And the most evil people of all are those who pass judgment on these people. Really, the likes of the snob ladies. They see evil where there is no evil. They are the evil. And they don't see themselves. And when I try to get them to see themselves, they turn on me. And try to make me the evil one. It's as if America as a nation doesn't perpetrate evil. We fancy ourselves as the good nation. And we have our president identifying the "axis of evil." And he rattles off the names of the countries. One by one. And he tells us that god favors America. Because America is a Christian nation. A democracy. The bringer of good. To that, all I can say is god help us.

America could be hell. But hey, even in hell, there's the ability for one to create a tiny paradise. A cocoon. Like I have. In my little corner of America. It shelters me from big America. I can still find solace. A refuge. For so many years, it was with my dear Jeanne. Love. That was the saving grace. Even in hell, one can still love.

I like to ponder the myth of Sisyphus. The writer Albert Camus wrote about the myth. Even in hell Sisyphus finds solace. Comfort. Sure, he has to push that boulder up the hill. Time and again. Forever. But he outsmarts the gods that have sent him to hell. He finds comfort on the way down the hill. To fetch his rock again. That's a respite. A break. And even the push up the hill. That may not be so bad. Physical exertion can be good. It releases endorphines. Yes, one's attitude makes a difference. A positive attitude can make the push up the hill enjoyable. --Jim Broede