They pull me through.

"My father has dementia, and I provide care and assistance for him," writes JRB on the Alzheimer's message boards. "I work full-time and most of off-work time is spent taking care of his needs. Just feeling bad today, my daughter who is a second year nursing student, is struggling with her nursing program. She just got a 'D' in her last two tests and her final is coming up. I feel bad I haven't spent time with her, talking with her, supporting her efforts. I'm always in a hurry to take care of something for my dad. My husband is going to have his leg checked out this week because of numbness. My family is understanding of my situation and the need to look after my father. I know this is part of caregiving and that your own life takes a backseat. I can accept the backseat for myself. It's just that I feel badly for my family. My father at this point is unwilling to have outside help, so it's basically me. My daughter called to tell me she got a 'D.' She's in tears. If she doesn't do really well in the final, she's out of the program. Wish there was more of me to go around. Just venting, don't expect a reply. I know everyone is in the same boat with a lot of demands on each of us."

Well, JRB should know better. I'm prone to give replies, even when they aren't expected. Tell your daughter to relax. To not put pressure on herself. Just do the best she can. And if she fails, to try again. And again until she succeeds. Failure can be a learning thing, too. The same thing goes for you, JRB. Try your best. If you fail, learn from the experience. Don't be afraid of failure. We all fail. But we all succeed, too. In many, many ways. Don't forget to count your successes. Think about it. So many of those successes came after failures. After repeated failures. If I let every failure get me down, I'd be a loser. Turns out, I'm a winner. Because I love life. I know how to love. Even though at times I've failed. I'm still trying to get it right. To learn how to love my enemies, for instance. I've made some progress. But I'm still failing, too. But hey, the successes are wonderful. They pull me through. --Jim Broede