I'm not afraid to be a fool.

I've always thought of myself as a bit crazy. Unorthodox. I've never felt a need to fit in. Never felt a need to have a lot of friends or social contacts. Even when I was a kid. Many kids wanted to be popular. I didn't need that. I just wanted to be me. And I guess early on I really didn't know what 'me' was. Maybe I still don't. I just feel my way. And let myself be. And no matter what happens in my life, I guess I adapt. And try to make the best of it. By that, I mean I try to feel comfortable. Reasonably happy. Just to be alive. If I'm unhappy, I don't want to be unhappy for long. And maybe that's why I became a writer, of sorts. It was a way to keep myself company. A way for me to create myself. Like what I'm doing right now. I'm analyzing myself. And how I relate. To myself and the rest of the world. Or to god. Or the spirit world. I put it in writing. And that seems to make it more solid. And I put it in writing that makes me comfortable. Not necessarily to make other people comfortable. When I write, I can say what I want. Because I don't necessarily have to show my writing to other people. If I see it, and god sees it, that's often sufficient. See what I'm doing now? I sat down at the computer, and I didn't know what I was going to write. Or what I was going to think. Instead, I just let it flow. What comes will come. I might sit down on a beach some day, with someone I love, and just talk. Ramble. And the conversation might be pulled off in virtually the same way that I write. I don't know where I am going. I just blurt things out, and try to make sense. It's just as if there's something inside me that needs to be let out. And many times, I don't care whether I make sense. I'm not afraid to be a fool. --Jim Broede