Friday, January 18, 2008
Not in sorrow. But in joy.
It happened today. Tonight. Jeanne died. One year ago. Maybe I would have let the day pass. Without thinking about it. But people remind me. As if I’m supposed to remember. As if they are expecting me to have a crisis. What is this thing about anniversaries? As if we are to commemorate things. Events. Sorrowful events. Joyful events. Our way of marking time. But I’m not sure that I want to mark time. I’m being expected to live in the past today. Another way of living the day fully. And I just get this sense that there’s something wrong about it. This turning back the clock. Anyway, I’m still in love with Jeanne. With Jeanne’s spirit. Always will be. Even if I fall in love again. With another. Because that is what I was put on Earth to do. To love. From beginning to end. I think I was born to love. To learn how to love. I’m still learning. And maybe I need forever to fully learn. And maybe one never fully learns. And I was put on Earth to be happy. To savor life. And there’s only one way to do that. To live in the moment. Today. And to love. Above all else. This very moment. Even when I dwell on the past. If only to remind myself that I loved Jeanne. Then. And now. And forever. And how do I do that? By continuing to love. For the rest of my life. Every day. As if there is a forever. I have to believe it. By living today. As if it is a day in forever. The way Jeanne would want me to live. Not in sorrow. But in joy. –Jim Broede
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3 comments:
Jim---During the morning of 01/18/07 you wished that you would have "Jeanne for another day. And another. And another. And another." When I heard of Jeanne's death, I was filled with sorrow over your loss and disappointment that your wish had not come true.
A year later I realize that your wish was granted. Jeanne...in an altered form... will always be with you. That you have loved and learned to love again is testimony to that fact.
i am just so very sorry. i feel as though i know your beloved jeanne from your writings. you have brought her to life for us and in doing so you remind us to embrace life and love. thank you so much for your gift to us.
well said, and so mote it be!
i too love my dearly departed family members, mom and sis... who left such huge holes in my soul
but they would want me to move on... reluctantly, i do, but keep their memory in my heart
i hope only to bring love and joy to the heart of my beloved, and she knows that
hope you find another to love, jim
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