Maybe Jack wants his way.

I don’t know if I should be in the business of rescuing people. Mainly from themselves. Such as my sister. Or my son. Believe me, it’s a tough call. For many years, I more or less wrote off my sister. Because she was a practicing alcoholic. I urged her to get help. Psychiatric and otherwise. But she wasn’t rational. She wasn’t about to help herself. Even though she had the ability and ample opportunities. So, I said goodbye. Allowed her to get on with her life. And I got on with mine. It was in keeping with my life’s philosophy. Don’t allow other people to drag me down with ‘em. I go my own way. They go theirs. I ain’t gonna change ‘em. I have enough difficulty managing my own life. I’m not gonna manage others. It’s a simple philosophy. And it seems to work. For me. Maybe I should have loved my sister more. Accepted her unconditionally. But it wasn’t in me. And I wasn’t gonna change to suit her. Any more than she was gonna change to suit me. That’s the nature of life. Anyway, my sister has emerged as a recovering alcoholic. She hasn’t had a drink in several years. In a sense, she’s a different being. Much nicer. Easier to take. So I take her. We’ve mended fences. We’re on good terms. In large part because she’s changed. If she hadn’t, we’d probably still be on the outs. Yes, my love for my sister is conditional. Very conditional. Maybe that doesn’t say much for me. I think I’ve truly loved only two people – no, maybe three – in my lifetime. And then I can’t know for sure. Because maybe I’ve never been truly tested. Now my long-lost son has reentered my life. After an absence of 10 years. And the internal debate goes on. Should I love him conditionally or unconditionally? I’m still searching for an answer. On one hand, I’d like to see him change. Become another being. But on the other, maybe I should just let him be. And accept him. Unconditionally. Which would be an expression of true love. He’s about to turn 52. And like my sister, he’s had many, many opportunities to get things right. I suppose that means my kind of right. Which may not necessarily be the same as his kind. I suspect that if he doesn’t change, he’s headed for disaster. But still, maybe that’s what Jack wants. His way. Rather than my way. –Jim Broede