I'll settle for being me.

I wonder. What it must have been like when god first discovered that he was god. Suppose it was similar to when I discovered I was I. Kind of scary. Not knowing what to make of it. Must have been overwhelming for god to comprehend being god. Makes me wonder, too, if god really ever got to know himself. That might pose some serious psychological problems. The same sorts of problems I have. Psychoanalyzing myself. For god, it’s gotta be done on a far more profound scale. Certainly, god is more complex than a simpleton like me.  I’ve been thinking a lot about god in the past week. Because I’m reading a book, by the Italian, Franco Ferrucci, titled ‘The Life of God, as told my himself.’ It’s labeled as fiction. But I see much truth in it. Ferrucci has keen insights. Into the psyche of god. He even suggests that god once seriously contemplated suicide. Even made an attempt at it. But was unable to kill himself. Don’t know if that’s a dreadful thought or not. Because I personally wouldn’t mind living forever.  Maybe my preference won’t always be that way. But at the moment, I’m in love. With my Italian true love. Living in Paradise. On the island of Sardinia. In the Mediterranean Sea.  Contemplating what it must be like to be god. For now, I’ll settle for being me. –Jim Broede