Hell seems like Paradise.

My neighbor Mickey/Michelle is a devout Catholic. A very conservative one, too. And she suspects I’m going to hell. Not only am I not a Catholic. I also left the Christian faith. After being brought up a Protestant. I’ve become a spiritual free-thinker. An independent thinker, so to speak, on religious matters. Not only won’t I go to hell. There is no such place. It’s a figment of Mickey’s sorrowful imagination. Yes, I’m not taking Mickey too seriously. Meanwhile, I feed her malarkey, also known as bull shit. I have a more vivid imagination than Mickey. Telling her I was offered the job of pope. By a high-ranking cardinal. Anyway, Mickey said she’d hastily leave the Catholic faith if the likes of me ever became pope. Because I’d allow women to become priests. The clergy could marry and procreate, too. Even if unmarried. And I’d sell off many of the Vatican treasures. And give the proceeds to the poor. Maybe that would keep me out of Mickey’s hell. Seems to me I’ve been living in paradise. With my Italian true love. And now I’m back in Minnesota for a while. Three doors down from Mickey’s abode. By the way, she looks distraught. The winter has been hard. Very, very cold and blustery. Our lake is still frozen solid. Though it’s April and supposed to be spring. Minnesotans often describe such weather conditions as hell. Makes me wonder. If Mickey’s hell is frozen over. Which means I may already be there. Without knowing it. Because it seems like Paradise. –Jim Broede